Insanity 101

Hello. Is There Anybody Out There?

2012-02-02T02:58:00.000-06:00

Who reads this? I mean, ima just try to get to the point. I look at the traffic for my blog and it is all for images i have linked to. That is fair enough. I mean, I'm not trying to advertise and it isn't like i really have a select audience that my writing would appeal to. When i put theses thoughts into words, it is basically for me to read when i get old, when I am alone and whoever is in my life is asleep. I will sit and get drunk and think to times when i was younger. A youth wasted on the young, yearned for by the old. I will think of the people i kept around me and those i let go. And where those people might be, who they have become and who i might have become had i kept them all a little longer. Then i will think about who i was all those years ago. And i may remember this collection of ramblings. And i may read through them. And if i do, i will think that the child who wrote this blog was just that; a child. Someone who had yet to experience the world. A sheltered thing that had yet to know the hardships life had to offer.

If you do ever read this kind stranger, please take the time to comment on it. You don't know how much it would mean to me. Oh, and future me, if time travel is possible, please give me a sign.

Drunk

2012-01-26T11:23:00.000-06:00

It is Tuesday night and i am a little bit more than tipsy. I've spent the better part of the past two hours walking around, talking, interacting, and pretending to be a human being. I've talked to people and immediately revealed i am partially out of my head (under the influence of alcohol) and with others i have sat in long conversations being perfectly polite and respectable. But that's not why i came here tonight. I came here to tell you a story, but before i do, here is one more thing. They say that when someone is drunk, they only speak what they truly believe in their heart of hearts (I don't really know anyone who says that, just go with it). If that is true, then In my heart of hearts i really, truly, dislike myself. The drunk me isn't afraid to admit he isn't happy with the person he has become. But enough of that depressing bullshit. On with the story.

I step onto the grass, the layer of frozen water that covers each blade crunches like shattered glass beneath my converse tennis shoes. This isn't what Iowas winter is supposed to be like. There shouldn't be a blade of grass in sight, let alone enough that i could feel clusters of them breaking beneath my mighty feet. But this year, the winter has been particularly mild, leaving me with no undiagnosed S.A.D. to blame my emotions on this season. It is practically spring weather outside most days, yet i still feel that same overwhelming sense of loneliness and sadness that i seem to be able to blame on the weather every year. But I guess that's life. A series of moments strung together in the haphazard fashion we experience them. Each moment with a separate emotion or opinion attached to it. And like seasons, you can expect moments to affect you in certain ways but have them actually affect you a way you'd never think.

When i grow old, i'd like to be the person that people look at and question how he became who he is. Adults would have an idea, base who they perceive me as on their misconception of the time that shaped to into the old man i became. And children would look at me with no frame of reference, no way to infer how i became who i was, but only be able to speculate. That i am a monster taking human form, or that i was a wizard who had lost most of his powers in a duel with an evil witch so he had to live out his days drinking poison water on his front porch. But this is all assuming i make it to being an old man. Children are my favorite sub-set of humans. Full of hope. Full of imagination. Full of possibilities. The only way a child can grow up to be a twisted adult is if adults royally fuck up in raising the child. That really is the worst thing to witness. A child being treated poorly. An adult treating a child as if it is a grown up, or is basing it's decisions on the same value scale as adults makes me laugh, then want to scold the adult. Children are the height of innocence The perfect, little ball of clay to mold and fashion into what the parents view as the ideal adult. On more than one occasion my father has told me he failed as a parent because of the way I've turned out.

My sink is used more times a day as a toilet than it is used as a sink. I pee at least 3 or 4 times a day. and i only usually do that when i am near my room. Why walk across hte hall when i could just unzip and piss in my own sink. I mean, the pipes all go to the same place, I wash the sink after every time, and it's not like i need it for anyhting else. Fuck. I'm tired. Night guys. Sleep well.

For the record, half the reason i typed this was because of how fluid it felt typing it whilst in this state of mind. Night all. Love you oodles and oodles.

What is THE MAZE? A lie.

2011-12-21T04:42:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, i went to a magic show. Now, this fact alone would warrant a pretty boring blog post (even by comparison to my other posts). This was an event sponsored by CRU.They use the word 'Crusade' in their fucking title. Do they not understand the negative connotations of that word? Whatever. i digress. But this was a christian magic show, and i was skeptical going in. But i tried my hardest to enjoy it. The first half of the show was simple magic, easily explained once the disbelief was no longer suspended (They were all plants. Anyone who was a major part of the show from the audience was a member of CRU.). but the second half was this guy recounting his struggle with cancer. Now, I'm not one to make light of cancer (though i'm not against it) but he decided to take this terrible situation, then attribute it to God. He was a very good public speaker, i do give him credit for that, but it still made his whole point kinda silly once he got to the God bit. For example, throughout his speech about cancer he kept saying 'And i thought WHERE IS GOD NOW!' he shouted it for emphasis. he said he died, which he technically didn't, and was reborn 3 days later, which he technically wasn't, because he had to remove his immune system and replace it with a teenage girls. The whole 3 days thing was meant to be a comparison to Jesus. It was a silly one. why didn't he relate to The Old Man and the Sea? anyways, I ended up going to his Facebook page and wrote a long comment. And i know they are going to remove it, so i copied and pasted it here. Enjoy!...

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I saw this show at the University of Iowa, and boy howdy,what a show it was! I don't want to give any of the magic away, but just let mesay he did some super fancy magic tricks, really mind bending stuff. At onepoint he went into this little rant about a recent study that showed thatpeople today lack a belief that anything is sacred. And i thought he made agood point. Why hold anything sacred? It only holds you back. And look at him! Without a belief in the sacred, he did all that magic! Lack of belief gives youmagical powers!

Then, he did this thing, where he gave us 3 minutes toleave. That suspense alone was enough to get me to stay. Plus the promise ofmore magic. When he came back on stage he started into his life story about howhe got cancer. He yelled a bit for emphasis, or maybe it was to keep usentertained, i don't know, he was trying to make some sort of point. But thenone part of the story caught my attention. He said that he was 'reborn' 3 daysafter his true birth day, April 20th, because they had to remove his immunesystem and replace it with another persons. He kept alluding to someone whodied and came back after 3 days but he didn't say who. Who is this mysteriouscharacter in history he could be comparing himself to? So i went home andgoogled 'Resurrection after 3 days' and found all sorts of information aboutthis Great God Osiris. Oh yes, Osiris is a good and gracious God, generous inhis floods of the Nile, forever replenishing the fertility of the earth fromwhich we sow our crops! Good is he in his judgment of our souls at the gates ofhis kingdom! The ruler of the afterlife, giver of eternal life, glorious is hein our praise!

But then i remembered he was trying to draw a comparisonbetween himself and this mysterious person from history. Can this guy cause theNile to flood? He may be an awesome magician, but i don't think he could dothat. So i kept thinking. Who else? I thought back to a little motto from theshow. "What is a maze? A confusing series of passages with a single,undeniable solution." A single solution. Almost a....final solution?That's when everything suddenly fell into place. He was born on April 20th, hecould amaze and captivate crowds just with the power of his voice, and he was proposinga final solution. All of these things could also describe a very prominent manin history. Hitler.

So I guess i am left with this question: Which of the twoare you claiming a semblance to? Osiris, the god of death, rebirth, and theafterlife, or Adolf Hitler, the charismatic leader of Germany during theglorious Third Reich? Because you didn't really make it clear which of the twoyou were trying to be like.

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So that is what I wrote. Silly? Maybe. Ridiculous? Definitely. But the whole show was silly. I mean, he never actually said what God he was rooting for, so i guess i just took it the next step. Thanks for listening.

*Written avoiding a Biology lab report, 11/15/11

QUICK WRITE SOMETHING

2011-12-14T16:51:00.000-06:00

EDIT: Keep an eye on this list as you read this. Actually, with anything i write.
Alright Internet, I've got 34 minutes until i have to be some where which leaves 24 minutes...scratch that, 23 minutes till i have to leave. So ima pound something out real quick.

Lately i've been dealing with alot of shit. Allow me to elaborate. Between school and the girlfriend i have to deal with alot more shit than i honestly think i can handle. If i focus on school i can't handle the girlfriend shit, but when i complain about not being able to handle school shit when with girlfriend she tells me that i should do whatever i need to in order to get a handle on it. But when i try focusing on school shit and it takes time away from girlfriend shit she gets rather upset, creating more girlfriend shit for me to handle, thusly taking away from the time that i could be focusing on school shit. Shit.
But, lets be real. The reason i am overwhelmed is because i put all of this on myself. I procrastinate and enjoy leisure time too much so i put things of until the last minute sending me into a frenzy to get all my shit done in a matter of minutes when i actually had hours to handle it all. It all comes down to poor time management. I've never had to really try at school. that is the bear facts folks. so now that school is actually something that i have to put effort into i am finding it rather difficult. Since like...2nd grade I've found that if i put in the minimal effort into papers or projects or anything really, i can get a better than passing grade. In high school i signed up for AP classes because they required little more effort than their non-AP counterparts but offered a HUGE boost to the GPA of the people in them. Senior year my schedule was full of them. i spent basically no time working on school work and still got a 3 point something average.

Jesus fucking christ this keyboard makes a satisfying noise when you type on it. Clickity clackity click click clack. Right now i am only typing because of the noise. I have a whole bunch more to say but shit this noise is so pleasurable to my ear holes I'm just typing because it sounds sssssssooooo good.

12 minutes left.what to say what to say. I think the reason i enjoy talking to strangers is because it is one of the few things that i have to work at, getting people to like me. But for a while there i had a system. maintain eye-contact listen to their stories, appear genuinely interested, ask questions that demonstrate you're listening/care, laugh when appropriate, respond with appropriate facial expressions, chime in with similar/relatable stories at appropriate times. Then once you've covered the basic stuff and you really want them to trust you, you start to give parts of yourself to them. things that seem extremely personal or sensitive, like you are trusting them with a little secret about what makes you...you. Scrunch the brow, appear as if just telling the story is difficult (my favorites are my moving story to New York or my parents divorce), look to them with eyes begging for comfort, just pleading for the person to see you as more than just another person, carving out a little place inside them where you fit, just right, because they made that place for you. you, the tortured, sad little animal that they know you can be. Then flip your demeanor, like a switch, to the exact opposite...make them feel as if the happy face they see you wear all the time is just a mask, just something you put on to hide the atrocities that you've endured. Make them question every emotion that you display. They keeps them interested. Or at the very least confused.

But lately i have been timid. afraid of contact with strangers. Something i wrong with me and i don't know why. I am behaving like a normal human being and it feels wrong. I am Spencer Mother-Fucking Anderson (paper work is in to make that my legal middle name). I talk to strangers regardless of...fuck. out of time. Talk to you later internet.

*Written 11/7/2011 between 4:26 pm and 4:50 pm

Strong(ly Against Homosexuals)

2011-12-08T02:08:00.001-06:00

First, watch this video. It is a thirty second spot for Rick Perry's presidential campaign. Take careful note of his demeanor during the video.

Before i move any further, allow me to state that any negative comments i make on this video are based on the Christian side of it. Ima try to keep politics out of it.

Alright, did you enjoy that little video? Have any questions? Maybe i'll answer them here in a bit.

The first time i watched this video i wasn't really sure if he was serious. I recognized his name, but i didn't realize he was a contender for the GOP spot on the ballot (call me oblivious but i don't really care about the pre-selection process. Right now its like the first 38 episodes of an American Idol season. I think i'll just tune in for the last 2 episodes when i can vote for the final two.) The way he is saying potentially inflammatory things with a completely straight face, the background being a little too perfect, that tiny little pause between "there's something wrong in this country when..." and "...Gays can serve openly in the military". I don't know, it all feels a bit too perfectly awful to be real. Hey, has anyone else heard of Poe's Law?

Then you have the whole Gay thing. I mean com'on...com'on Rick. It is one thing to be proud of your religion, and to want to talk about it, but it is kinda a bad idea to discriminate against an entire piece of the voting population in an ad that is meant to convince people to vote for you. I mean, i know nothing about the rest of your politics, but just based off this video i would never vote for you. It sounds like you think The United States used to operate under a theocracy and you want to get back to that. And on top of that, of all the things the United States does that violates your religious law (slavery illegal in US, covetous nature of citizens, work on Sabbath), your top concern is homosexuality in the military.

But don't get me wrong, i don't want you to hide this piece of you. Lying to appear more appealing to the constituency is immoral (but often practiced.). And i have to admit, going out there and essentially saying 'Look, i want to be president and i really dislike gays...i mean really' takes some serious balls. It is completely unacceptable and closed minded, not to mention the way you kinda assume every religious person in the country is Christian, but seriously. Check out the balls on that guy.

This isn't my normal posting time, but i couldn't go to bed without sharing my 2 cents on this weeks scandal with the 3 people who read this.

FANCY MOTHER FUCKING POKEMON!

2011-12-07T11:23:00.000-06:00

Not Pokemon in the Gameboy. I didn't make the image. And no, i won't cite my source.

Get ready you fuckers. The internet has graced us with a bunch of fancy fucking Pokemon. Pokemon has a special place in my heart. It is one piece of pop culture that i was actively a part of as it was being formed. I can still pick up a copy of yellow version and know exactly where to get surf, or how to beat those noble opponents at the elite four and even that fucker 'rival'. the name you gave him was always very telling. the older kids tried to name him something that would be funny anytime it came up in context, but us younger kids tired to name them the name of a friend or of a classmate we disliked. Mine was named Nolan i think. Name of my cousin. We played the shit out of those games on long car rides, or long nights. Those were the days. back when we picked our Pokemon not because of their attributes or because, statistically they were better but because they were the ones we had had since the beginning of the game, or the ones we liked the best. I don't know. that seems to be a term i use alot lately. If i didn't need sleep i'd go into it now, but i do need my sleep. sorry internet, i'll share my life with you another night. I know you're not going anywhere.

WHO KNEW THERE WERE SO MANY FUCKING FANCY POKEMON?!?!? I DIDN'T! I LOVE YOU INTERNET! THANK YOU!

*Written 11/7/2011 at 1:34 AM

I Didn't Shower Today. I Woke Up Late and Was Almost Late to Class. (All Irrelevant)

2011-11-30T05:23:00.000-06:00

Pic Unrelated

In the tradition of this blog, i haven't started writting this until almost 3 am. Those are the creative hours. The time when the place between the sleep world and the waking world manifest themselves. They show themselves in the dull and dim light of late night and the errie silence of early morning. when words seem to flow forth unrelenting, uninhibited, unrepenting all because they can. The time when analogies make as much sense as an analogy about an analogy.

I think i'll give you an update on my life, how you feel about that? You're getting it anyway, so you might as well enjoy it (or leave the page. You don't have to read if you don't want to. no hard feelings if you don't. i won't know).

I am going to the University of Iowa. i am living in a single room, making this kind of writing (the insomniac inspired kind) easier. Over the summer i worked too much, spent too much, and forgot alot about myself. Now that i am back at Iowa, i have stopped earning, continued spending, and i'm starting to remember why i was forgetting.

A neuralizer would've been more effective.

Oh, and i am now the president of my hall association. So there is that. Fingers crossed i don't get ass ass inated (three links in there. I think of the word assassination and those three things pop in my head at the same time. I can't be sane.) But lets get back to memory, i liked where that was going.

Memory is an interesting thing. As much as i believe all experiences in life are worth remembering and cherishing if only because you'll never get them back if you forget, i can't help but think that there is a reason that our memory is selective. No one remembers everything. At least most people don't. But it is best to focus on the vast majority of populations. Cattering to the exceptions to a point often detracts from the point being made...much like these two sentences. Think of all the time we spend in transit, eating, not thinking. What is the point of being able to recall those events perfectly, or being able to be spontaneously be reminded of them. Our naturally selective memory serves as a highlighting system. It pulls out the moments of high emotion and makes them significant. If we are feeling somehitng, then it must be important. Whether "negetive" or "positive". I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a negetive or positive emotion. Speaking as a person who can become completely numb and emotionless spontaneously or at comand, as long as you're feeling something, it is far better than nothing.

*Written in the hours between September 28th and September 29th

I'm Back!

2011-11-23T11:23:00.000-06:00

back to life, back to reality...Don't call it a comeback!
Oh internet. How I've missed you. I've enjoyed you these past months, to be sure...but it wasn't like the relationship we once had...so young....so naive...Since then I've seen your dark and disgusting underbelly. I've used you and abused you in the past months...and i am sorry. I miss the good old days...when we would stay up until the wee-hours of the morning just talking. I guess i would do most of the talking...but you were the best listener i have ever met. I've decided that, if you'll have me, i want that relationship back. I live alone, so i am up late, just the way you like. I have a lot of thoughts and not that many people i want to share them with. By talking to you i felt like i was bringing my problems to light, exposing them to the public eye, something that i am normally terrified to do...but the reason i feel i can tell you almost everything is cause you don't judge me. You don't twist my words when you tell others. You don't interpret or look at me with shifty eyes when i make references more obscure than sexigesima.

This isn't you. Not you at all internet.

Like the friend that never has obligations or an omnipresent god except real (ZING!) you'll always be here for me. Thank you internet. I look forward to this relationship again. Just to prove we are on good terms i think I'm going to post a random picture.

*Written Mid-September

Soon...

2011-11-11T23:11:00.000-06:00

I just couldn't stay away. I've missed your supple caress Internet. Now that I'm started i just don't think i can stop. Did you enjoy that last little image i left you with? Here have another. This just shows how much i like ya. See you again soon.

I like your face more than his.

Expect us...uhh...me.

2011-11-11T11:11:00.000-06:00

Returning soon...I Promise. I've lined up a whole bunch of posts to be released in the coming weeks/months. In the mean time, enjoy this. Plus 15 internets to the first person to name them all!

LISTS!

2010-03-25T23:23:00.000-05:00

For years i have wantedto put together a list of everything that needs to be seen on the internet. My lack of motivation, time, and knowledge of what is worth seeing prevented me from doing so. Thankfully, someone else did.

THE FIRST 99 THINGS!

THE SECOND 99 THINGS!

Enjoy. I doubt anyone will even read this, but hey, at least it will be here for me when i want it.

Talking To Strangers

2010-02-25T11:23:00.002-06:00

Allow me to say...The interent is fucking fun. And a bit creepy. There is a site called Chatroulette.com. Its a wonderful website that pairs you a stranger, makes you talk to them and either person can end the conversation at any time. He is the first conversation i had:

Stranger: zombie reagan or zombie nixon?
Me: Scarier? Nixon
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: the jowls
Me: win in a fight? Reagan
Stranger: imagine them as decomposing flesh
Stranger: I disagree
Stranger: I think reagan would win
Me: why?
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: nixon
Me: why?
Me: reagan has got the cold war power on his side
Stranger: I feel like reagan is a bit more passive
Stranger: psh
Stranger: he didn't do shit
Me: NUCLEAR BUILD UP BITCHES!
Stranger: yeah
Me: he didn't but the people before him did
Stranger: but that's the political equivalent of having a large car
Stranger: large truck
Me: Who is talking politics?
Stranger: nixon bombed cambodia
Stranger: nixon would have more balls in a fight
Stranger: is what I'm getting at
Me: i am talkin about sraight fire power
Stranger: especially zombie nixon
Stranger: I'm talking fisticuffs
Me: ohkay...ohkay...i can see it
Stranger: zombie fisticuffs
Me: Vietnam and what not...ohkay...
Me: Fisticuffs? Yeah Nixon
DISCONNECT

Isn't that the definition of fun? Or bizzare? i'm not sure...but i thought it was worth sharing.

If 'God Hates Fags' Why Does he Keep Making Them?

2010-01-14T16:42:00.004-06:00

I have a friend. His name is Charles. He is intelligent and witty. He wrote words i wish to share with you. I don't nesscessarily agree with all of them, but hey, i thought it was an interesting look at something i talk about frequently: Religion. He is refering to the actions of the Westboro Baptist Church, who hates homosexuals because their interpretation of the bible says they are abominations to humanity. The following words are not mine, and i do not claim them as such.

They are sick and they are wrong. However, aside from the fact that the inbred hicks who run the Westboro Baptist Church ministry tend to focus on homosexuality and abortion far more than their holy book does, all the things they say and do are in accord with Christianity. Anyone who calls themselves a Christian is supporting a book that is filled with hateful, misogynistic, anti-human, jingoistic, xenophobic pablum for the narrow soul. The bible unequivocally states that the g-o-d does not condone the hot, hot action shared by two men. Fact. Ain't no two ways around it. The punishment meted out by the bible for such acts is death. Not in a general, "we'll all die one day," way, either. One of the thousands of reasons I'm don't cotton to religion. I love everyone regardless of their sexual preference. Christianity is utterly incompatible with that notion. When you get right down to it, the love peddled by most religions is just a tired, crass diversionary tactic used to swell their base numbers so they can create a feedback-loop standard that garners them the support that comes from being America's number one soul-saving source (the same support which wins elections based on simple, binary standards: Idiot "Abortion: yes or no?"
Winning candidate: "No."
Losing candidate: "Yes."
What an amazing, nuanced debate that was! What appreciation for complexity! What ape-like cognitive gymnastics! Huzzah for Fundies!).

Not as Inspirational as The King, but Close

2009-12-30T17:55:00.001-06:00

Hello, my name is Spencer Anderson, and i have a dream. It is a simple dream, but to many it may seem far fetched. I dream that one day i can watch television and see fair and unbiased news...just the facts, printed, spoken and adressed. if there is a debate, both sides are well represented.

I mean, look at the video above. They got the leader of an organization devoted to hateing videogames, and some inarticulate shmuck who, though probably well informed, was not prepared for that interview. His ass was raw meat to those people. Those people, who, so locked in their views can't even intive a more capable representative from the opposite side. It just shows they are afraid the opposing side will make a good point.

And Modern Warfare 2 is a fucking great game. What critics of video games don't undertand is that some games are peices of art. Sure, you can't hang it on your wall, and they will never be admitted to the Smithsonian, but they can be used to help us understand the world around us, see beyond what we know our world to be, and start to understand the horrors of the world we can't escape.

I know that the arguement that videogames are art is a bit dated, and it isn't always applicable, but that is what they were going for when they made the scene in the game. If you want to make the arguement that some games are too graphic for impressionable young minds, i would agree with you. But htat doesn't mean they shouldn't be sold. There is a game rateing system for a reason. Alot of gamers would say that it is brooken, but that is beside the point. The point is, if a 13 year old walked into a best buy and tried to buy Modern Warfare 2, they would be quickly denied. To buy this game, you have to be 17 or older. I htink it is important for adults to all agree that somethings are meant for children, and some things are meant for adults. Just like you wouldn't take your 8 year old to a NC-17 movie, you shouldn't give them an M rated game.

Growing Up

2009-12-30T14:22:00.000-06:00

Well shit. I'm in the exact same place i was a year ago. I don't want to grow up but there is nothing i can do about it. I am walking along the 3 step plan without fault, and there is nothing i can do. What are these 3 steps, you ask? Allow me to refresh your memory.

Step 1: Go to school- The basic childhood phase of life. You go to school, you live with your parents, you make friends, You learn and grow up.

Step 2:Go to college- Be free, have fun, make mistakes, find a new cause every week, try something new everyday, and avoid telling your parents what you are really doing.

Step 3:Get a job- Be an adult. If you died right before you hit this step you really wouldn't be missing much. The worst thing that would happen is the debt you built up at college would be put on your parents. But hey, You'd be dead, not your problem.

But i am faced with this same burning question. How do i break the cycle? And if i don't break the cycle, How can i ensure my happiness within the cycle? Fuck. I don't know. Double Fuck.

I guess that easiest way for me to be happy in the cycle is to pick a career that i will care about. Oh god damn it...I am giving in. I am becoming compliant to what is expected of me. Ass Fuck! I feel like Holden Caulfeild. I want to run away with the girl who currently holds my fascination and just live. Escape all the worries and woes of the world around me. But just like Holden, I'll never go through with it. I'll just keep living my life, worried more about how my actions would affect my sister than how they would affect anyone else. Those random urges to just go are stayed by the more...not sane, but by those who are ohkay with the path laid before them.

Buh. I just want to travel. I want to see the world. I want to experience so many extraordinary things that they eventually seem boring. And i don't mean extraordinary in the scuba diving, sky diving, cliff diving, or any other type of diving way. I mean, i want extraordinary interactions with random people. Just a conversation on a bus with a kid in Cambodia about his great grand mothers famous noodle recipe, then i want to try this recipe. I want to create Friendship with strangers, and i want to learn what love really is. Sure, the diving type of extraordinary would be nice, and i want that too, but really, its the taken for granted extraordinary that i want. Hmmm. I don't know.

Gah, Why can i think about this? I don't see either of my 2 cats distraught over their life's purpose or path. They just eat, sleep, and lick themselves. They don't spend sleepless nights fearing the uncertainty of their future. They don't need video games or television to distract them from the fact that they have between little and no control over their future. Gah, it feels like a curse. The ability to think beyond what i immediately need. Cognitive thought is what Eve stole from the gods the day she ate that mysterious fruit. Civilization is the cause for more angst, mosre sadness, more misery than any war. Hell, war is a product of civilization. These thought, these questions that i can never find the answers to feel like a war within myself.

Maybe I can find the answers within myself. Maybe all the answers come with time. Perhaps those around me can help if i just ask. Hell, maybe there are no answers to any of life's great questions. But i hope that's not the case, and I'll be damned if i stop looking.

Creep.

2009-12-16T23:15:00.002-06:00

I Said Ho Damn Give That Homeless Man A Place To Sleep!

Don't Read This

2009-12-09T21:08:00.000-06:00

Don’t read this article. I shouldn’t need to give you a reason. Its absolute rubbish. Trash by any standard. Hell, its trash by Oscar the Grouch’s standards. Even the Bag Lady would prefer this never actually be printed and it just head straight for the garbage can. Not the recycling bin. This writing will taint any piece of paper it touches. The proper way of disposing of this would be burning all copies of it in mass, or placing each separately a toxic waste sites somewhere in the cold Siberian tundra. Chimps have been known to randomly pound on a keyboard and produce writing of a higher quality.

Why are you continuing to read this? I specifically told you every word that is included in this piece of writing is worse than Jeffery Dahmer. I’m not talking the cool kind of bad, like Fonzie bad, I’m talking the terrible kind of bad, like seeing your mother naked and enjoying it bad.

You fool! What are you doing? Stop reading! What’s that? You want to know how I know you’re still reading. Well, we wouldn’t be having this conversation if you weren’t still reading. Oh no! Did you see that ridiculous logic? You didn’t? Didn’t you read the last sentence? Of course you did! Otherwise you wouldn’t be on to this paragraph. Zoinks man! More ridiculous logic! But ultimately I can’t decide if the worse part about this paragraph is the ridiculously expressive punctuation or the fact I am treating this like a conversation with you.
Well, congratulations. You didn’t listen to me and now you’ll never get those 5 minutes back that it took to read this rotting piece of rancid writing.

Zooey Deschanel

2009-11-23T03:55:00.000-06:00

We all have our celebrity crushes, and we all like to pretend they will some how magically happen. They will be traveling by bus through your town and all 47 of the tires some how go flat right outside your house. The crew come to your house and ask to use your home as a refuge while they wait for such a large repar job to be fixed. Without knowing it is her, you accept, out of the kindness of you heart. She walks into your house, you are awe struck by the air she carries. Clearly superior in every way, but doesn't know it, and if she does, she doesn't seem to care. A convoluded series of events involveing a bad situation with a boyfriend, ice cream, a dead hamster, and too much time together leads to the improbable relationship to occure (in your head of course).

Well, my celebrity crush is Zooey Descanel. She is fantastically beautiful and appears to be impossibly nice as well. I don't know why i started this post, but hey, ima put a video here of her, hope you enjoy!

Oh, and Zooey Deschanel is not Katy Perry. And for the record, Zooey Deschanel doesn't look like Katy Perry. Katy Perry looks like Zooey Deschanel.

Itchy Butthole

2009-11-23T01:32:00.004-06:00

I suffer from a cronic illness that there appears to be no clear ut cure for. It comes up every once in a while and is severly irritateing. I don't know how severve my case is, because there doesn't seem to be much research done on it. I am sure it affects more than just me. And i need a cure, or at least something to supress the syptoms. I am talking about itchy butthole, and i want some answers.

My first question is, How the fuck can i get my asshole to stop itching for three god damn seconds? The answer sure as hell isn't scratching it. I've been doing that for 2 whole days now, and it just makes it worse. I tried pooing and that offers temporary relief, but once the poo leave the sphincter, the itching just returns with a passion.

And why does it last so long? i have had itchy butthole for a solid 2 days now. in the past it has lasted up to 3 days. It is so bothersome. I would say the irritation is somewhere between a cat repeatedly licking you in the same spot, and actually having to listen to two, 13 year old girls talk about how hot the jonas brothers are.

Why is there no suggestions on WebMD? It is more serious than Alzheimers or Amnesia. I mean, anything they read about their problems they will forget.

More Random Meaningless Flith...That got published

2009-11-10T16:24:00.004-06:00

My friends and i often get into discussion about some pretty serious things. Sure, 90% of the time it is about girls, videogames, or countless other random topics, but the other 20% of the time we are talking about topics such as religion, politics, girls, quantum mechanics, and maybe galactic domination. We've had our disagreements, but soemhow they always come to the same place. There is no one correct view on serious topics. Everything is about moderation.

Take a look at our political situation in this country. We have a 2 party system, and each side argues that they are the unfalable choice in our next election. But each side has its downside. Republicans believe the government should be less involved, but htat leads to less people being helped, and they try to force their morals into law, which is against my morals. Democrats feel like they are obligated to help those who are less fortunate, but that leads to the more fortunate haveing to pay hefty taxes. Where is the middle ground? Not the Green party, thats for sure...they are crazy

By the way, we've decided the only way to conquer the universe is by useing the sun as a mace, and threatening to swing it into other planets if they didn't obey us.

On an unrelated note...I am now writting for The Torch. It is the school new paper. It is just some little something that makes me happy. A forum more focused, and more likely to get read by people. And my words are there. It is a fantastic feeling.

Random Meaningless Filth

2009-10-04T15:45:00.000-05:00

I don't like raisins. The only good raisin is purple and full of juices. If your going to put raisins in food, they better not be destined for my mouth. Thinking about that again, if you're going to put any fruit in dessert, it better be really really good. Like, if the desert is fruit specific, that's okay. But if you are throwing dried apricots into cookies just for the hell of it...don't. Just put chocolate chips in. There is nothing stopping you from doing that. What is wrong with a good old fashioned chocolate chip cookie? But if you are sauteing banana to caramelise it's natural sugars, the pouring a caramel sauce over it and adding a scoop of ice cream, do that. I would eat that, force you to forget you had already made it, then make you make it again.

I am a cynical bastard. But a Cynical Bastard would deny that they were Cynical at all, and say they saw the world as it actually was, and that everyone else is just ignorant, So me saying i am cynical means that I'm not a real cynic. Damn.

Please allow me to digress. No? Ohkay.

What would a dolphin mixed with a person look like? I mean, i know what a werewolf looks like, and i know what a minotuar looks like, but whats a dolphin/human look like? does it belong on land or water? And i refuse it to look like a mermaid. So stop.

I am really thirsty. Why do we exsist? If my exsistence is one filled with thirst, hunger, pain, and struggle, what is the point of exsisting? I am mostly jokeing here, for those of you who don't know.

Blogs are like haikus, No body really gets them, What should i put here?

if you had a choice to be a boy or a girl, which would you be? From my experience with people and this question, boys usually choose to be a boy, and girls usually choose to be a girl. Why would you be a girl? Mestration, Birth, Menopause. Blech.

Sometimes i forget who i am. Then i look around and rememeber i am no body, just like you.

Its Not That I'm Lazy, I Just Don't Care

2009-10-03T02:12:00.000-05:00

Everytime i am sick, i watch this movie. I shouldn't. I know i shouldn't. I really shouldn't. Wanna know why? Cause i am the largest procrastinateing, empathetic Son of a Bitch in the world. I hold the title, i guarauntee it. Wanna try and top me? fine, here isa doozy for you. Over a weekend, i had 2 things due in a class. I thought they were going to be hard, so i put them off for and entire weekend. Monday rolls around and these two gargantuan assignments are still hanging over my head, what do i do? I Play Sick. I have all day now to do them. But still, these assignments look like giant heads on easter island. Impossibly large and they have to be made from stone from the hills, and not the surrounding coast. How d you move a 2 ton rock a couple miles? How do you carve them with no rock sharper than the stone you are cutting? How do you take notes on economics and do test corrections when there are 30 other glorious distractions to enjoy? All questions that may never be answered in our life times.

Know what wound up happening when i was fakeing sick? I became sick, and the rest of the week i felt like shit but wasn't able to miss anymore school. Figures.

But, back on point, i shouldn't watch these movies because i take them so seriously. I look at Peter Gibbons and say, "My Gog. He is Right. I don't like work, i don't think i am going to do it anymore." This inevitably throws me into a downward spiral in the grade sector of my life. But that leads me to an important point. Why do we bother? Fuck work, Fuck effort, Fuck strain, Fuck trying to recieve approval through some arrbitrary gradeing system. I am tired of being judged and compared, graded and given a number (141319 in case you were wondering).

When i was 4 i couldn't wait to learn My ABC's, I was ready to learn how to count, I wanted to know Everything. I devowered books like a swarm of locusts. But now, a simple reading assignment seems...well, simply boring. Thinking back to being a child, before i started a formal education, i remember i was estatic about going to school. I was excited about learning, about gaining knowledge. Now i have to ask myself, where did it go? Who is to blame for its dissapearance? Sure, it resurfaces when something truely fascinateing arises, but my general need for knowledge has been severly diminished. So, Who is to blame? Is it me? The smart kid who doesn't apply himself? Or is it the school system? Turning a bright eyed boy into something unrecognizeable. Or is it possibly just that i am growing up. Who knows. I know i don't. Maybe it is a combination. All i know is, adults wouldn't stand for the sort of oppression we face. Oh, but i keep forgetting, school is just conditioning for the real world. Sit in your cubicle, file TPS reports, meet quotas-wait a minute-You didn't meet your quota? Well, they won't fire you, but everyone will try and motivate you to try harder to meet those, once again, arbitrary quotas.

Well, i think i am blogged out and in the words of Tammara Marcus

Peace

In the words of Lars Lee

Namaste

In the words of Arthur Fonzerelli

EEEYYYYYYY

Nerf Dart Wishes and Pornographic Dreams

2009-09-04T17:28:00.002-05:00

Ohkay, so the title may be a little intimidateing. You are thinking, "Oh No, Spencer is going to link one of his random words to a porn site." No matter how much many of you would like that, i won't. This is a story of my Birthday. Yes i am 18, and i will wrie about that later, but listen, and hear my words.

Today i turned 18. I was in a half awake stupor and still dreaming. My dream all night was random, nonsensical, as always, but the end was my 18th birthday. Thats all i rememeber of it. Moments later, my sister walks in and wishes me a happy birthday, followed closely by my mom, bearing the same wish. I mummble a thanks, manage a grunt, and promptly fall back into a place between dream and reality. After a shower, breakfast, and a quick drive i arrive at school. Walking across the parking lot Paige wishes me a happy birthday. I am sure its gunna be a good good day. Enter the school. Enter my first class and hear 5 people remember my birthday. Once again, a great day. Go to the Pep Assembly and I scream my head off. I hide during the most green and gold competition ( i am wearing a red shirt). I cheer loud, i encite excitement in those around me, forceing them to compete with me in volume. We win. First time in our 3 years we have won that competition. About time. I have never been more excited over a stupid glitter-covered pvc pipe (not an actual picture). Sure, seniors win it the first time every year, but tha does't diminish the value. The rest of the classes in the day, though 10 minutes shorter than normal, seem to last an eternity. Somewhere in the middle of it all there is choir. Now i expected this to happen, but feel it should be shared anyway.

The day before was Lar's birthday. Now, is was the first birthday of the year, and everyone likes Lars, Everyone Knows Lars. So, When Liz announced that it was his birthday, The room exploded with excitement, we screamed, we hollered, we clapped, and we sang. My Birthday, the next day Liz says, "Hey Everyone, i am passing around a list so you can write your birthday and your name." Since people hear the jist of her announcement, they start talking again. And as the dull roar of the room continues, Liz's Tiny Voice says, "And speaking of birthdays, It's Spencers Birthday today." Five, Maybe Six people clap. Ohkay, more like 15, but in a room of nearly 90, that is barely audible.

During choir, Lars tells me about the adult super store he and Robert went to over 3rd period. Just ridiculous, RIDICULOUS things he saw. How odd, skeezy, and over all gross, it was. I had to go. So, We decided, Lars and i were going to the adult superstore after school. We bolt out of happiness, race the his car, and head to the sleezy shop. I was expecting a dimly lit single room shop. The man behind hte counter, frail, with hollow eyes, thin hair, black lip stick takeing seemingly high amounts of cash (cause who uses credit at a place like that?) for such lucrative (and innapropriae) items. But no. I walk in, And a man behind a counter I.D's myself and lars, and it is as if it is just another shop. The racks are full and organised, with prices clearly displayed. Granted, the items sold are much more...lets say...fleshy... than in other sores, but other than that, it look normal. They have sale pries, rooms for specific...interests. I will tell you the truth, i was surprised at how respectable the place actually was. Granted, my expectations weren't exactly high, but they should still be proud to out do them.

However, there was a section of this store that i wasn't even aware exsisted. A viewing area. Thats right kids, a viewing area. Too ashamed to buy your porn? Too ashamed to even rent it and take it home? Well thats alright, cause we have veiwing rooms, specially made to give you privacy and comfort, for your viewing pleasure. So, these viewing areas are of varying quality. At te bottom of the quality list, one they call 'The Sleazy Squeezy', is a room with a 13 inch screen thats about the size of harry potters closet room in the first book. The best room, which they like to call 'The Supreme Spank' room, has a high definition television, surround sound, and an audience that cheers and calls your name as you splooge.

Wanna know what i got for my birthday? A NEW NERF GUN! and a boy girl sleep over. It hasn't been done in my house ever, and hasn't happened at all for others since they were in grades that could be numbered on a single hand. It went rather well, actually. Sure, at first parents were concerned it would just be one big orgy, or that there would be copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. tot he dissappointment of one of my friends, this wasn't the case. It was a wholesome time, of watching movies, and staying up late to unusual hours, laughing about my farting in my sleep. Yeah, that actually happened.

Well, all i have to say now is, Don't you hope your 18th birthday is as awesome as mine?

And i hope to post more regularly now. It is getting to the season where all i want is to tell people how i feel, but for some reason, they don't like it when i yell at them.

Niceties and the Human Way

2009-08-20T02:52:00.000-05:00

Why are people so nice? It isn't logical. If someone is wrong, tell them. If they are stubborn, be mean, get the point across that they are wrong. If they aren't useing logic, point it out. Force them to see that they are wrong, and if they deny that Tell them they are wrong and they are just spouting more meaningless blither-blather that follows a skewed logic.

Honestly, the real problem with people being nice is people are expected to behave nicely. it isn't just good enough not to kick the homeless man, you have to give him money. You can't just not loot the electronics store after a natural disaster, you have to help rebuild it.

Fuck it, i am tired, goodnight internet.

The Lies Children Are Meant To Believe Are True

2009-08-18T02:10:00.004-05:00

Fuck Parents.

I have a beef with parents. And once i am done with this beef, I'll have a bone to pick. First, the one that is bothering me right now. And is the reason i won't get to my fathers house until much later than anticipated.

It is currently 2:12 AM. I am at my mothers house. Guess where my mother isn't. You got it. Her house. Guess where i assume she is. Barry's house. His real name is Brian, or Bryan or however the fuck you spell it, but Liz thought his name was Barry, So Barry it is. Well, Barry is my mom's boy toy. And if that isn't reason enough to dislike the fellow, he is entirely devoid of a personality. Being a Random and Crazy Bastard, I like to think personality is Pretty important. I figure it is the only thing i have going for me consistently, so it has to be pretty important, otherwise i wouldn't be here. I have just decided to demote his name to noun status. He is no longer a Proper noun, worthy of a capital letter, he is a noun, like the word clock, or sheep, or steaming pile of shit. Anyways, I'm here, Shes not, and barry is likely with her. Worst case scenario, they are having sex. The shudder That just ran down my spine was so powerful all the dogs in the neighborhood started barking. How long have they been dating? I am going to lay out a time frame. My mom moved into this new house at the beginning of the last month of school. So, 4 months later, she can stay the night at his house. 4 months. 121.7474 days. A third of a year. A Season and a Third. Less than half a pregnancy. About the same amount of time it took for the drama between my mom and dad to play out. I am Sorry, But FUCK that FUCK barry and FUCK the myth that adults are responsible. They preach Abstinence when they can't keep it in their pants long enough for him to complain about Blue Balls. They drink, they smoke, they buy things based on loans they can't pay off, and are almost always hypocritical. It is mostly the sex and hypocritical thing. You don't think my one stupid parent gives me the right to condemn the entire Adult race? Well, How about 2 parents?

My father has a girlfriend as well. She thinks she is much closer to us that she actually is. The first weekend my dad and this lady met (I don't know her fucking name) they basically sexed 2 nights straight. The same tremor just ran down my back. I might call a chiropractor. I might have thrown out my back. Well, she was at my dads house when i got there and as she was leaving she said to me, "Well, See you later Spence." I can Understand if you don't see the big deal, but my Name isn't Spence, it is Spencer. As the words left the second largest hollow in her head (the first being where her brain should be), i cringed, and made a face i normally reserve for finding diarrhea smeared on walls and for particularly ugly babies. But before i could correct her Stupid mistake, she was gone. I haven't made it very clear how abnormal it is that she called me Spence. There are only 4 people i will allow call me Spence. My Sister, My mother, My Father, And Cati. Anyone else who calls me Spence it abruptly corrected with, "My name is Spencer, The 'ER' is one extra syllable, please say it." When she was gone, Cati and i looked at each other, And she said, "She just called you Spence" Chuckling at her mistake. Still in shock, mouth open with disbelief, Riley walks in and says, "Did she just call you Spence?"

It is 3:11 AM. Exatly 1 hour from when i started this. No sign of my mom, no father calling wondering where i am. Am i living alone yet? Sure as hell seems like it. And it seems all my fears are true. I am alone, I feel alone, and i have no control over anything that is happens around me. Well, I guess this is Growing up.

~~EDIT~~

Apparently a parent of one of my readers has sent a link to this post to my mother.

First off, To the parent: Read this as a story. If you don't like what is happening in the story, can you reach in and affect the story? No. SO, If you, oh so helpful Parent, could just STAY OUT OF THE STORY it would be greatly appreciated. Know what? Just don't read...Oh, and I know who you are...Yes, Really.

Secondly, To my readers: I was mistaken and I have, so forcefully, found the time to fix this error. She wasn't just out. She was in Des Moines, for her leadership thing. I was mistaken, and I admit it. However, I will say, all my previous posts are my interpretation of events in my life.

Funny People Is LIke...

2009-08-04T01:33:00.000-05:00

The Movie "Funny People" is bizarre. I am honestly not sure how i feel about it. I will tell you why i feel this way, and i feel that me not knowing what i feel is more helpful than me saying i loved it or hated it. Make sense? No? Oh well.

Remember Click? Remember Adam Sandler Slowly losing grasp of his life as it jumped from point to point, showing what his life would be like if he kept on the path he was on? Remember how serious it was? How it was serious with random jokes placed here and there? It is basically that, but with more people saying Fuck, More Stand up, and a meaner Adam Sandler. It is as if the Adam Sandler in this movie saw how big of an asshole he was all the time, and saw the repercussions, like in click, but didn't give a shit. The emotional arch of Adam Sandler in this movie was disappointing. He was depressed, to mean and depressed, to happy but still being mean, to depressed, to nice but still an air of arrogance. A note to any Director Who Ever Directs Adam Sandler Ever: LET HIM BE RIDICULOUS, LET HIM BE WEIRD. TAKE INSPIRATION FROM HAPPY GILMORE, BILLY MADISON, AND BIG DADDY. STOP MAKING HIM SAD FOR SUCH LONG PERIODS OF TIME. Reign Over Me is the only movie i will ever accept Sandler in a serious role. That is all.

Why was Seth Rogan Everyones bitch in this movie? Sandlers Bitch, The Love interests Bitch, His Friends Bitch, Sandlers Love Interests Bitch. I understand his character is meant to have low self esteem, That he is meant to be the struggling comedian who is chosen at random to hang out with the big movie star, but seriously, let him stand up for himself, or at the very least let him yell back. He does come back with good counter points, but he never raises his tone past the moderate stressed tone he always uses.

From this point on there might be some SPOILERS!!!

From this point on it stops being a review and becomes a personal thing. As some of you know (as in 1 of the 3 people who will actually read this) my parents are recently divorced. And in the movie, Sandler finds out, Oh No, he has Cancer (Which is when i thought, "I didn't see 'My Sisters Keeper' for a reason damn it") an guess what? He gets better. Shocker. Well He realises he wants Less loneliness and more happiness in his life, so he chases an old spark who he cheated on. And this old spark happens to be his ex-fiance. Oh, she is married, and has 2 kids. Oh, and she seems unhappy. So, naturally, he goes to her house, eats her out, and tries to split them up. The entire time he was on this endeavor, i was rooting for him. "Yeah, Adam Sandler," I thought, "Break that couple up." It wasn't so much the breaking up of the couple i wanted but his happiness. I figured he would stop being such a dick if he finally got the girl. At some point, i think it was when the Couples kid was talking to Seth Rogan and said something like, "Are my mommy and Daddy going to get a divorce?" Rogan Replies, "What makes you say that?" Girl Replies, "I Don't Know, You can just tell." Seth Rogan Cooley responds, "Maybe it would be better if they did." And Daughter (character Name Ingrid) just shakes her head. That's the point that i started questioning what i wanted to happen. I suddenly had a deeper understanding of everything that was happening in this movie, they were no longer characters to me. They were people. People who were going through a divorce. People who have kids and are going to divorce. A person who is causing a relationship to divorce with kids involved. I suddenly had very mixed feelings about Sandlers endeavors. On one hand, i want Sandler to be happy. He is depressed and has nothing in his life, doesn't he deserve something? ON the other hand you have this Child. Doesn't she deserve a stable household? Does she really deserve to have her entire life turned upside down just so Adam Sandler can get the girl? On the Third hand (you didn't know i was a Hindu god?) You have the mother. Does she have t he right to up turn her daughters life? Does she deserve her happiness if it comes at the price of her daughters happiness? Know what? I'm not going to tell you what hand i choose at the most important one...as the 'right' hand if you will (Oh Spencer, You're so Punny).

Down below is something awesome and incredibly irrelevant. Enjoy.

Now You're Really Going to Hate Me For This...

2009-07-26T23:38:00.005-05:00

Micheal Jackson. Good ridance. Yeah, i said it. Go on, be gone, i'm done with him. I guess what i have to say is, Why is this being so drawn out? He died, move on. And honestly, he deserved to die.

Oh man, i can feel the hate right now. Just writting those words, i can hear a hundred thousand fans scream, "Find Him and Burn him." But really, didn't he? He was a child molestor. I have seen people bawling over the man, saying he is a legend, a pop icon, all neglecting the fact he liked fingering little boys butt holes. Oh, you say he settled out of court? Does that mean he is innocent? Far from it in my opinion. It actually looks more incriminateing to me. He knew he would lose so he shoved money at the problem. And in the wake of his death i have seen people asking why child molestors are let out of prison, and now they are mourning hte passing of Micheal Jackson. Hmmmm, something smells hypocritical.

I hear, over and over again, how he bridged the white and the black (i am assumeing they mean socially, as opposed to his personal bridge fro black to white) with his music. How he was a sensation and a great performer. But no matter how great a person you are, bein a child molestor is nearly inexcuseable. And, Personally, It would take a hell of alot more than being a good performer to forgive such heinous acts.

But, in all honesty, i don't think people are mourning the man who died today. They are mourning the man who died in the early 90's. And this is how it should be. Back when Micheal was better known for being in Rolling Stone than the Tabloids. Please, when you are sad for Micheal Jacksons death, don't mourn the man in the coffin. Look past the White, Female, Alien-esque exterior, and see the Black, Soulful, Human within. Don't say, It is a shame Micheal Jackson Died. Say, rather, It is a shame Micheal Jackson did that too himself. Because the real Micheal died a long time ago.

I am sorry for this post, i am, honestly. Please Don't Hate Me.

DON'T PANIC

2009-07-02T09:10:00.002-05:00

Inscribed in Large Friendly letters on its cover.

Don't worry, i am still here, but i have a job and it is summer, getting on blogger just isn't in my schedule for everyday living. When i'm not at work, i am with friends. when i'm not with friends i am sleeping, and if i'm sleeping, i am late for work. However in this general flurry of seemingly pointless words i am spewing at you there is a silver lineing. My job is pointless. I don't move for 5 hours, and hours can pass without me doing anything. So, i have been journaling. I actually have about 5 posts written they just arn't, well, posted.

This feels good. Like an old friend comeing to visit. I get the sense of the good times we spent together, laughing through the wee hours of hte night. I remember the bad times that might've lasted weeks at a time. But, no matter the loathe i felt for this assignment/media format, i always came back to it weeping with regret at how foolish i could be for leaveing it. I guess i am like a drug addict, and this is the only dealer in town. Okay, all that is true but the drug addict part.

Confusion Derived From the Misinterpretations Of Meanings Of Vocalised Statements (Misunderstandings)

2009-06-12T19:04:00.000-05:00

Tonight at dinner, i was having a pleasant conversation with my father. The conversation turned to the get together i am having on Thursday (Written Pre-Thursday, Posted Post-Thursday). I ask if the neighbors with the small children were here at the end of last summer. He says, "Yeah, why?" I tell him it, "Well i wasn't sure if they were aware of the noise that we teenagers are able to create with our music, and screaming and carrying on." Yes, i speak like a 80 year old when i speak to my parents, i feel they can understand that better. He says, "well that shouldn't be a problem, just keep it below noise ordinance levels and there shouldn't be a problem." I reply, "Well, i can't guarantee that." A conversation ensues where his tone is getting more and more hostile, and mine is getting more and defensive. Eventually i say, "Well, it really isn't in my control, but i will do what i can." He says, "If you can't control it, then maybe you shouldn't have people over at all." That's when i know we are misunderstanding each other. But i say, "Look, Dad, I will do try, but if i said that it won't, i would be lieing, because i don't know if it will or if it won't." I don't think he ever fully understood what i was trying to say. Point is, when either i or my parents speak, we interpret it in incorrect ways 90% of the time.

This particular conversation was really perplexing because he assumed that i wasn't in control of this get together. I did say i wouldn't be in control, true, but i meant i wouldn't be in control of what others thought was too loud. Being a teenager, i like loud things. Loud music is pleasant. Being a teenager with a relatively good view of how the world works, i understand, not all people like loud music. However, no matter how well i understand how the world works, i will never be able to know how loud is too loud for those people who hate those conflabbed kids with there baggity pants and there hippity hop. That's what i was trying to tell my dad. No matter how quiet i am, it could very possibly be too loud for my neighbors. And i am not keeping it at such a low volume that i can't enjoy it, Oh-No, i refuse to do that. I guess what i was trying to say to my dad was, I will do what ever i can, to an extent, to not disturb the neighbors, but there is no guarantee that what i think is within reason will be acceptable to them.
~Thursday Passes~

There were no problems. There might have been excessive swearing when the neighbor kids, at the 'well arn't you prescious' age of 5 an 7, were playing on there swing set with there friends. Oh Well, they have to learn some time.

I Hate Cereal...

2009-06-09T01:50:00.000-05:00

It is 1:51 AM on Monday, May 25. Would you like to know why i am up this late? Could it be the Starbuck Doubleshot I drank in less than 2 minutes? Could my insomnia be caused by the fact i can't get certain people out of my head? Or is it possibly the fact no one is home, and i don't know where they are and i am thinking the worst (not really the worst, i know, but it is what i am thinking)? All of those may contribute to my sudden inability to sleep, but i am more than certain that the anger caused by finding 3 boxes of cereal torn open, and scattered and crushed in my car. This story is the story of my weekend, a weekend that i will eventually forget, however, the Internet will not, and when i am 40 and find my blog, pristine, so simple, with out the Digi-Flex images embeded and the 3D visual system (Technology will have advanced in 40 years, i made the Digi-Flex thing up) I will remember fondly this weekend.

Friday i will skip. I wake up Saturday to my ringing phone (anyone notice i start my posts that recall something with me waking up?). Shirtless, Pantsless, not Boxerless, i answer in the way that i have come to know as my 'If This Isn't Necessary, or I don't Like you, I am Going to hang up" Tone. Its my dad. His call fits both those descriptions, but I stay on the phone anyway (I like my dad, but not when he is waking me up). He wants me to Meet him at Best Buy. "When," I reply in a tone with just enough pitifulness to make him waver on whether he actually wants me to come, but none the less, he says "Fifteen Minutes, we are buying a new TV."

A shirt, a pair of pants, and a fresh layer of deodorant later, i am at Best Buy. My dad says, "We are getting this one." I think to myself, "Glad i came, Dad." I say aloud, "Looks like a good one, Dad"

That was a meaningless part of my day, but i just wanted to demonstrate how my parents are coping with the divorce. They want to prove they still love me, so he includes me in things in which i am largely unnecessary.

I was going to make this whole story much longer then it should have been but i will cut it down to size. Later that Saturday I went to Grad parties with Evan and Paige, went to a talent show where everything went off without a hitch, and went to a bon-fire with Evan at Kyle Bergans house. At this bon-fire, I asked Bryan Bruner if i could tag along with him the next day to more grad parties. He said something along the lines of, "It would be an honor if you would accompany myself and Sepulveda tomorrow to grad parties." Imagine it being said in a British accent. I did. All day Sunday, we jumped from grad party to grad party, all of which i hadn't been invited to, eating their food, wishing them happy tomorrows. Eventually we ended up at Susan Pei's house. Heir to the Pei restaurant fortune, her house had a full spread of Chinese food, her lawn had tents up the wah-zoo...and karaoke! We (by we i mean everyone who even thought about stopping there) decided that this was a good place to spend 2 and a half hours. We sat-ed, We chatted, we ate-ed, we complain-ed, and we ate-ed some more. Sepulveda kept alluding to knowing something....but that is a separate story that i don't care much for telling right now. After Susan's grad party we went to Emily Kippers to jump on her trampoline. We arrived, and after a brief conversation with her parents (nice people by the way) we started jumping. This trampoline had clearly seen better days. But a trampoline is a trampoline, and trampolines are for doing tricks (Bryan Bruner is surprisingly nimble when flying through the air). After about 10 minutes the weight of 4 fully grown human beings finally over came the trampoline (i have said that word too many times.). The legs popped out of the sockets, some came off the ground, the entire world seemed to tilt in a single direction. Apparently the weight restrictions on those things hold some water. Looking for a new way to entertain ourselves, i suggest we go swimming at my house. Through a series of events and discoveries completely out of my control, it would have been unwise for me to bring my friends (are we friend? how do you define friends? for the sake of my sanity and this blog, they are my friends) over. With a lack of anything better to do, we began watching the movie Thirteen. Jesus Christ i never want to be that age. When that movie was done, it was time for people to leave. I walk out to my car, Krause by my side. I unlock my car and all my interior lights flash on. Inside i see piles and piles of powder. The First thing i think is, "How did a small animal get in my car, find my stash, and make such a mess out of it." I turn my lights on again, just to get another peek. I look closer and it is Hy-Vee brand cereal. 3 boxes of it. How did i know? The Person/People who did this left the boxes in the car. Awesome. I call Krause over, because he is well on his way to his house just up the street. He comes over, takes a look, and says in the very Krause way he says things, "What the Fuck!" I have no idea how to put that emphasise in words. Others take a peek, i am standing there, showing it off like a 2 headed cow at a fair. Happy because this monstrosity is amusing to others, but pissed because i know this will cause me more work than it will bring me or others entertainment. By the way, that 2 headed cow from the link, it was euthanized a day later. He knows exactly what i mean.

And that is why i am up until 3:27 AM on Monday, May 25. I had to vacuum my car. Oh, that and i had to write this post. You didn't expect me to have something so bizarre happen to me and then me not write about it, did you?

A Sign Perhaps?

2009-05-30T14:09:00.005-05:00

Today i put my ipod on shuffle. This is the order of songs that occured. Sabotage By The Beastie Boys, Situations By Jack Johnson, Stable Song by Death Cab For Cutie, and Like a Rolling Stone By Bob Dylan. Interpret as you may...What was that? You want me to interpret them for you? You think the only reason these songs in this order have any meaning is because of my own personal situations at this point in my life, and how anyone else interprets the importantce of these songs will most likely be wrong from my point of view? Well, i guess you are right. I would suggest you leave a comment and i will tell you how wrong you are.

Reflections: Why I Write...Err...Blog

2009-05-26T18:55:00.012-05:00

Over the course of the year, I have enjoyed the continuing assignment of maintaining this Blog. When it began, it was nothing that I was really looking forward to. All I heard was 'Write bunches, make it quality, And do all this other homework I give out.' First term was a waste, you can check the post history, the first third of the year (Fall-Winter 2008) I had a very limited amount of posts. I was also angry. I couldn't tell you why honestly. I think it had something to do with summer ending, and life in general (stereotypical teenager alert!) was really getting me down. It could have also been that I wasn't allowed to be angry in real life, that being mean, spiteful, abusive, hateful, and just plain cruel wasn't okay in my parents or societies eyes. I guess it made sense to me to put all those mean things on my blog. It was a place that was public, a place to get my ideas out in the open, but safe because, who would read my blog? Apparently Mr.Ayers, the teacher who assigned this crazy experiment of an assignment. Let’s just say that he wasn't too happy when I started talking bad about him directly. Eventually, I started enjoying this Blog. I know, Cuh-Razy right? School work? Fun? No Way dude. Yes way...Dude. I started taking advantage of my own little soap box on the InterBlag. I would rant and rant about topics ranging From Aliens to Religion, From Life to Death. The point that things really started to pick up is when my parent’s separation started becoming something real. Right about when I started 'Ramble On' (a series that has evolved into me spouting random thoughts as fast as possible and trying to make my hands keep up.) it hit me that what was happening with my parents was real. The second line of that post was

"I cried in my sleep last night. I don't remember why. All I know was that everyone else was perfectly content. They were happy. I was crying, sobbing, as if something terrible had happened, which it had, or was about to. They all knew about it too, which is the scary part. They knew something terrible, absolutely horrid, was happening, had happened, or was going to happen, but they didn't care. They all had their smiles plastered on. I would walk up to the people I knew, the people I trusted, and exchange words. They look at me with those disgusting smile. They speak back. I explain what is happening. They look at me, still smiling, and try to change the conversation. I know what this dream means. but I don't like it"

This was me alluding to my parents getting separated. Tricky right? I thought so. Well, My blog became my release. The place I could rant at people, about things that made me angry, about my feelings and emotions. Most of the things that I says I am angry at started as a scapegoat for my real emotions. Like Religion. Sure, I think that religion is archaic, cryptic and sticks its nose where it doesn't belong, but I used it as something that I could be angry about.

This isn't my first blog, just the first one I would call a blog. I had a Xanga, and I realize that would be a great place to put a link to my Xanga, but I am choosing not to. It was too personal. Too much of it was me. It isn't me anymore, but I don't want people to see what I was and compare it to what I am.

I think I should list some of the accomplishments that I have achieved with my blog this year. I have managed to get 2 friends in to blogging (here and here). I have managed to get a friend to address my use of the word hate. I have gotten 475 hits on my blog (last time I checked). I have posted 71 posts (including this one).

Lets look at some things my blog hasn't accomplished. I have yet to make it on any of Mr.Ayers coveted 'Check this Blog out' posts on the Kennedy Blog. I can understand why. I'm not nice, I'm completely unpredictable, and promoting my Blog is a little like the United States Government Funding Saddam Hussein...Oh wait...It isn't that big of a deal, really. I have also not managed to make this Blog make me my money. I could've done this by adding advertisements. Never did that. Might have to do that over the summer. I also never continued 'The Antagonist and The Protagonist' series. I am really disappointed in myself. I set out to write a story. A simple story. A lame story at that, and I couldn't stick with it. I am finishing this series. I swear to you, this story will be finished.

I like this writing Business. I can express myself in a way that lasts but still holds my voice. And this blog is a way I get my thoughts out there for everyone else.

I have had fun. I plan on continuing this Fun. I like writing. I love ranting. I need to let out how I feel, and I don't really trust anyone enough to talk to them. This is my escape. This is my Batcave, my Fortress of Solitude, my Bodhi Tree. Most of All though, it is my ink blot test and my pair of scissors cutting the Straight Jacket. Well, at least loosening it.

Video Games

2009-05-21T09:48:00.000-05:00

They are a wholesome past time, rotting the brains of youth around the world. They are a place where you can saw someone in half and their only response is calling you a chainsaw noob/whore. A place where every head shot means you are one step closer to that coveted Golden Camouflage (also a place where oxymoron's go unnoticed). A place where you can be a Raging Cyborg T-Rex whose only mission in life is to eat Dorrito trucks. Mindless, stupid fun. And this is just what the world needs. A generation that doesn't waste time reading. But, i digress, i am not here to rant, i am here to list to you the games i am looking forward to. And, a warning to you anime readers out there, I am not going to list any J.R.P.G's. I won't do it.

1.) Prototype- This game looks awesome. You are a shape shifter, who can alter your form into different forms to suit your different needs. When you kill someone, you can absorb their biomass, and thus take their form. You can choose to become a Tank, just plowing through your enemies, or to assume the form on an enemy soldier and infiltrate their base. There are 3 factions, many parts of the City, and it just looks awesome. You are basically a super hero (or a super villain) that can do anything. It is awesome.

2.) Bioshock 2- This game looks awesome. Bioshock is one of my all time favorite games. The first game had as many twists and turns as your intestines, and was a million times more fun. In the first game, you are a survivor of a plane crash in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. The only safety in sight is a large ominous tower. Through an unusual series of events, you are thrown into a city under the sea, Rapture. With genetic modifications galor, 40's weapons up the wa-zoo, and crazy genetically altered psychopaths roaming the halls of Rapture with nothing better to do then kill you. This isn't all though. There are Big Daddies. These behemoths are docile...until you threaten their Little Sisters. Well... You can learn about that yourself. However, the character you play in Bioshock 2 is the first Big Daddy. Apparently, before these giants were the heavily armored freaks they are now, they were more lightly armored and could do everything a normal person could do (as normal as a person who can start a fire by snapping their fingers can be).

3.) M.A.G. (Massive Action Game)- 256 players in a game. Not much more to say. There are 3 factions, and everything is fully customizable (character appearance, weapons). Once you load the game into your PS3 (I know, a good PS3 game, weird...) you are forced to choose a faction, and you are stuck with it FOREVER...or until you stop playing. Honestly, not much is known about the game, there isn't an official website i could link this to, the most official source of information i have seen is a GameInformer article, and even it was focused on the immense servers and massive game modes as opposed to actual game play. However, i can link to the trailer.

4.) Assassins Creed 2- Awesome. Free running, assassination, futuristic machine, a secret war between 2 factions, and a hella confusing story line with more plot twists than....i already used that alalogy. Well, the first left with a cliff hanger, and now i want to play it again. It sounds like they have fixed everything that i thought was wrong with it, so it should be near perfect.

5.) Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2- Also called 'Call of Duty 4...2'. No one knows anything. That link is to a terrible trailer. They don't even call it a trailer, they call it a teaser. Personally, i think they are trying to add an air of mysticism to a game that doesn't really need it. Not alot is going to change, you don't need to hide that, the original game was the best first person shooter i have ever gotten my hands on. And honestly, What could they change? What has changed between that modern and this modern? None the less, i am going to jizz myself when that gae comes out.

I am torn to continue, because i now have 5 games on the list, all of which look stupendous. I only have maybe 1 or 2 more games i would like to add on to this list, but i will want to make it to 10 so i will add 3 or 4 games that i don't really care about. So i am stopping now.

I Moved

2009-05-21T07:39:00.000-05:00

Not the site. My Possessions. My possessions have been relocated from one location to another. My mother has moved out, and taken me along with her--for half the week and every other weekend. Basically, it is a house out of the sixites, that hasn't been touched in decades. That is, untill we got there. Now, all the wall paper and all the carpet have been torn up on the second story. But thats cool. I guess. I don't really care

~A Weekend Later~

That was weird. As the weekend started, I had the same excitement i would have if we went on vacation. Sleeping in a bed that isn't mine in a house that isn't mine in a city that isn't mine. Then, as the weekend wore on, i realised many startling truths. Truths apparent, surely, to all 3 people who read this. This was my bed. This was my house. This was my city.

~One Night Later~

Okay, my original house is barren. Everything that made it my home is gone. It is still a house, and it is still my house. But it isn't my home. What does that mean for me? The house that i have lived in for years is no longer my home. The house that my mom lives in may be my house, but it is certainly not my home. The saying 'Home is where that heart is' has been on my mind, but i guess i'll just keep my heart with me.

Crazy Dream That I Had a While Ago, But I Never Finished the Post About

2009-05-18T13:05:00.000-05:00

I went to Chicago today. Thats not what this is about. I woke up at 4:40 this morning, took a shower, and climbed right back into bed. I do this on the daily, because I think it brings me the little extra energy i need. And it keeps me from haveing to deal with stupid people for another 15 minutes, so that's a bonus. So i climb into bed and immediately fall asleep. This is the story of my dream.

I was sitting in a room, half naked. Suddenly i woke up. At first i questioned why i was half naked, which shouldn't be my initial reaction in a dream, because i am always half naked in my dreams. I try to remember the previous events of my dream. It all hits me like your brain on drugs hits a frying pan. Or better yet, it hit me like that crazy girl hit all of her possessions. (On a related note, The word of the day is crack, i saw it and had to add it). I had been playing video games all night with my cousin At some point in the night a samurai, who looks suspiciously like Jinno from Afro Samurai, showed up. We started sparring, chilling, chatting, doing the things samurai do...in my head at least.

This doesn't explain why i am shirtless, but i have come to accept this, because this is a dream, and you accept unusual things in dreams. I was just happy i wasn't pantsless. I stand up and realise i am in a school, i leave through the nearest door, not knowing where i am going. I walk outside and a playground is presented to me. Children come pouring out from the surrounding forest, followed closely by counselors. They are strapping young twenty-somethings with nothing on their minds but their future and each others bodies (you can't stop a twenty year olds sex drive anymore than you can stop a bullet train with a feather). I try and speak with them, but they behave as if i they can't see me. Finally i find one who will acknowledge my existence. He is a pudgier fellow, with severe acne problems.

~A 3 Week Break of Forgetting to Finish This Post~

We talk for a bit, again, i wish i could give you specifics, but in my dreams, words aren't really spoken, i just kinda know their intentions, and what they want to say. He says something along the lines of, 'Let me show you the way home'. I say something along the lines of, 'Yes, I will let you'. WE walk, through the woods and, in an undisclosed amount of time (mostly because dream time and real time are nothing alike) we come across a sliding glass door. This doorway, thinking back, seemed to be built into the forest, as a part of the woods, with no building to support it. Just simply a part of the woods. If you can't imagine that, think of the woods as a sort of back drop with this sliding glass door in it to get to the other side of the set. Because he dream needs to keep moving, we go into the door and discover...can you guess what we find? It is a girls sleep over. All the girls are wearing footie pajamas (which is completely different from real life, cause girls have naked pillow fights at sleep overs) and...I don't remember what happens next. This dream was so long ago that i don't remember what occurred next. You want me to make something up? No. Well, Okay, you convinced me.

Next the girls turned into dragons, make everything burn up, and i was left in nothing. A pure white nothingness. As I stand in nothing (or is it float?) a land scape forms around me, and i am its master. I throw my hands up with the Power of the Gods, Building up and Casting down mountains, entire generations of creatures pass in a blink of an eye, until, lo and behold, i am all that stands, in a universe of my creation.

But hey, That's just speculation as to what might have happened.

Evolution Isn't Arguable

2009-05-14T16:00:00.001-05:00

The argument between evolution and creationism isn't. There is no real argument. And I'm not saying 'There is no argument because evolution is fact and creationism is stupid.' I'm trying to say that arguing whether Evolution or Creation is fact is like arguing whether Apples or motor oil is better. Better at what? If i want a wholesome snack, i would go for the apple. But i would never put and apple into my car and expect it to run. And i wouldn't drink motor oil either. Evolution and creationism serve two separate purposes, and arguing them as if they are the same thing just causes confusion amongst the people who see you arguing.

Lets start obvious and get more vague. First off, Evolution is Science, Creationism is Religion. Science asks for facts and proof that something is true, Creationism asks for blind faith (or for you to believe and very incorrect very skewed perspective and thought process that pretends it is science).

Next, is something that will make creationists ears bleed, but it needs to be said. Evolution is fact. You can't argue that animals and species change over time. It is called adapting. It only makes sense that the species that are better suited towards their environment are going to breed better than those who die before they can pass on their genes. If a group of this species changes enough, to the point that they can't breed with the original group of species, they are a new species.

And my friend pointed out a good point when i told him about these 2 videos, Evolution Isn't Atheism. Disproving evolution (which as we know is what kids? Impossible, that's right children) doesn't prove their is a God, and Proveing there is a god (which, as we know, is what kids? Impossible, that's right children, you are learning quickly) doesn't disprove evolution.

I will end this with the message i would like to convey to anyone who is a religious fanatic and wants to dabble in science: Don't. Science is science and religion is religion. Believe what you want, but don't get that mixed up with scientific fact. Like this guy.

~sorry for all the religious themes lately, next week won't be so heavy~

More Creationist Blatherings About Food-Stuffs

2009-05-14T13:22:00.000-05:00

There are Six Sexual connotations in this video, see if you can catch them and write their times down, the answers will be given later in the post.

Stop obcessing over food you religious morons. They can't be the answer to your problem with people who think. And, did anyone notice the odd amount of sexual references? I'm sure he didn't mean it, but still, look at all of them. Fifteen seconds into it, he makes a hole with his hand and inserts oh so gently (his hand was like a virgin). Twenty-seven seconds, non-slip surface (must have been rape). Fourty-two seconds, 'When you pull the tab, the contents don't squirt in your face'. Maybe i was wrong about them not trying to make sexual connotations. Fifty-three seconds, 'A point at the top for ease of entry' (seriously?). Fifty-Four seconds 'Just the right shape for the human mouth' (If you didn't get it yet, he is referenceing penises). One Minute and One second 'It is even curved toward the face to make the whole process easier' (BLOW JOB!). Six sexual references in One minute and Eight Seconds. Bravo Christians, bravo.

But seriously (as serious as you can take me after that spree of dirty mindedness), Could you leave food alone? The most obvious arguement against that is, why aren't coconuts made so easy for me to eat and make dirty jokes about? Wait, if you pound them hard enough you can get white juice to come out...never mind about the dirty joke part. But still, that is one fruit, one item of food amongst the millions of items i could choose. And does all this proof point to the fact that we were made only to eat Bananas? And aren't Bananas the favorite food of monkeys...oh god...I think this might be the work of the same conspirator behind the Peanut Butter Fiasco.

Maybe i should clear some things up for you creationists out there. Wait. This is a third blog post.

I Don't Think You Understand, Sir...

2009-05-14T09:00:00.001-05:00

Don't read, Watch.

Done? Already? Oh, well then. I guess I better come up with some insulting banter about religious people.

Uhm, Excuse me...Sir? You do realise you are holding a jar of peanut butter, right? Oh you do, Okay...and you expect that jar to spontaneously produce such complex molecules as Adenine, a Lipid Bilayer, Glycine, guanine, thymine, uracil, cytosine, and other proteins? Oh you do. I'm no scientist (and neither are are), but don't you think for life to be created on earth, you would need a much more specific environment that simulated life on early earth before oxygen was present? You don't understand? Well, the earth wasn't always as nitrogen and oxygen rich as it is now. Please stop screaming 'La la la la I can't hear you! The World is Only 6000 years old La la la la' because you only sound childish. You don't take my word? Well, maybe you will believe Stanley Miller and Harold Urey. They conducted an experiment that demonstrated the creation of organtic molecules. They even created 11 of the 20 amino acids. Surpriseing right? You don't trust Wikipedia? Well, good thing i found an interview with Stanley Miller. Neat stuff. Oh god, i just said Neat. I fear for my future.

So i am going to stop talking to myself. This is what i mean by religious figures dabbaling in science with no knowledge of true scientific theories or discoveries. I am a high school student and i have enough basic knowledge to be aware of this experiment. Neat stuff. Oh god, i just said Neat. I fear for my future.

So, someone actually argues that when energy (light) hits any sort of matter (peanut butter) and it doesn't sprout new life, that means evolution is false. Any Readers Agree? If you do, please stop reading, and locate the nearest bridge and promptly jump off. Who thought that was valid? really? Who looked at this thought process and said, "Yes, absolutely, makes more sense than anything science has ever said". I am going to give you a meaningless list of reasons people would believe it. One reason would be the Brain-Washed Delusions of religious fanatics who can't accept anything that wasn't written in the good book. Another reason could be that these people realise this is wrong, that this is incorect, and don't care. As long as it is putting down evolution, then it is a good thing (in their eyes). Want a third reason? Okay, a person who doesn't believe in God snuck into their brainwashed masses, worked their way up the proverbial ladder...or stairs in this case...and suggested this advertisement to their superior. Being the gulible Man-O-God (all 3 words are a different link! Collect them all!) he is, didn't question such an absurd idea, accepted it, put loads of money into spreading the idea, and tried to get people to believe in the same thing. Wait. That sounds familiar...

If that peanut butter arguement convinces anyone that evolution is Bunk, i will be sorely dissappointed in humanity as a whole.

Elmo

2009-05-07T21:38:00.000-05:00

Found this. It inspired me.

Elmo is funny. I love Elmo. He is shear happiness. I don't think Elmo can feel any emotion but happiness. Elmo will say something like, "Blah blah blah happened and that made me sad", but he immdiately follows it up with something like, "Know waht i like to do to make me not sad anymore? DANCE! Giggle giggle laugh laugh." and he jumps up and starts danceing around as if strings were attached at all his joints, like a marionette, and the puppeteer is just hakeing the controls randomly...Oh...

Elmo also has some serious star power. Look at who he can get on his show.

THEY EVEN GOT JACK BLACK!?!?!??!!!???

LOOK OUT ELMO! CHRIS BROWN GUNNA BEAT YOUR RED ASS!

Anyways. Elmo is a force to be reckoned with in the hollywood world. I think the only person with more celebrity clout would have to be Oprah.

Facebook Chat is for More Than Planning Your Next Party

2009-05-07T07:00:00.003-05:00

Lars and I were both on facebook, when I changed my status to this. This is the conversation that followed. The following events occurred between 9:00 PM and 10:00 PM on April 28, 2009.
Lårs- Wow Spencer wtf
can you not think outside the box
you’re just like all the other right wing Christians
you take the bible literally

Spencer- uhm....I think it was meant to be funny

Lårs- I know but it just comes across as condescending and ignorant and its not true

Spencer- and Christianity isn't?

Lårs- no it’s not

Spencer- no?

~Moderate Pause~

Spencer- why isn't it? Sure, the message it sends is good, and the majority of it should be followed, but still, what makes it intelligent?
wait
I don't mean intelligent
I mean, 'not ignorant'

Lårs- um I have yet to find a teaching from Jesus Christ that doesn’t support understanding and tolerance (which is basically the opposite of ignorance)

Spencer- ignorance is believing something that has no proof

Lårs- no its not

Spencer- your definition is right to

Lårs- I know but this isn’t about the def. of a word
and believe it or not, blind faith isn’t the main tenant of Christianity for many Christians

Spencer- the belief in god is blind faith, which is the first commandment...and if you don't blindly follow your god, you go to hell, and if you don't believe in god, but only believe in what the religion teaches, it becomes a philosophy
Spencer- do you understand what I mean?

Lårs- yesbut first of all, it depends on what your definition of God is.

Spencer- god is god

Lårs- to me
nvm
I’m not gonna txt message what I think god is

Spencer- what is your definition

Lårs- you really wanna know?

Spencer- I am curious, your view seems to be one I haven't read about

Lårs- I am god, you are god, harmony with the earth is god, love is god, emotion is god, our ancestors, its all apart of an all encompassing entity that for lack of a better term I call God. It’s not some pearly bearded white guy sitting on a cloud with Jesus and St. Peter.
its the earth, its relationships, its Jesus, Gandhi, MLK

Spencer- hmmmmm
interesting
I’ve never heard that...you practice a very personal form of religion, one that can't be mass produced...I like it... I can't say your wrong, because this is your personal emotion, your feelings, and I can't say you are right, for the same reason....in this case, there is no wrong or right....I don't think you are a Christian though, in the literal sense of the word

Lårs- I'm not a Christian because I don’t believe Jesus Christ was "God" in the flesh, in the way Christians believe, but I believe that Jesus was God in my sense of the word God, but so are other people
(MLK Gandhi, the Dali Lama)
even ordinary people

Spencer- I understand that, I got that, but that breaks the Christian code...and understand that I like your view better

Lårs- yes
which is again why I'm not a "Christian"

Spencer- exactly

Lårs- but that doesn’t mean I think that just because of one little rule that I disagree, I cant get something out of Christianity

Spencer- right, and this is the thing I have trouble communicating to people when I talk about this

Lårs- how so

Spencer- it isn't Christianity I have a problem with, it is God, the God concept as dictated by the Christian establishment...
Spencer- I guess the blind faith thing, and the singular god thing, and the 'believe or go to an eternal fire pit' all combine to make me squirm and say something isn't right...I agree with what Jesus was teaching, because anyone who disagrees has problems, but the established church asks for blind followingand the above three things

Lårs- I'd definitely agree with that up to a point
it sounds to me like your beef is with the catholic church and fundamentalism

Spencer- and god

Lårs- I still don’t quiiiiteee get that

Spencer- believing in god is illogical, almost any, except your 'God', which doesn’t quite meet the definition of the god I have a beef with, it defies logic because there is no reason, there is no explanation, it just asks for belief...which has never been my strong suit

Lårs- alright I gotcha now

Spencer- yeah
and when I say I hate Christianity (or religion), that is what I mean, that and there ridiculous rules

Lårs- ok
thank you

Spencer- yeah, I am glad we spoke about this, I have been wanting to explain myself about this for a while

Lårs- and I'm glad you did

"Mid-Life Crisis"? More like "Mid-Life Frost Over Everyone Close To You"!

2009-04-30T07:37:00.001-05:00

Everyone in my family has gone fucking insane. Everyone except Riley. My mother is going through the mid-life crisis of, well, a lifetime. She is following many of the norms. It started with an obsession with her physical appearance. Now it has spread to the need or want to spend time alone or with certain peers. I am sure this all stems from her desire to be youthful. Next step is a relationship with a person of much younger age. My dad is a victim in this, I am not saying that excuses him of his recently developed faults, i am just saying that his are more understandable. He is resorting to alcohol to 'drown' his emotions, which just ends up heightening them, leading to verbal fights that for some reason, my mom hadn't seen coming. He is also holding more tightly to the relationships he has. He wants to spend more time with Riley and I, and if we opt to do something else, he becomes offended and angry. I, too, am developing in a direction that wouldn't have been predicted a year ago. I am less responsible, i have less work ethic, and i have near no respect for authority. A year ago i would have told you that me being less responsible and having less work ethic was impossible. I an an emotionless, shell of a human being when at home, and when i am at school any emotions are quickly put in their place by the Pep. I have come to many conclusions about life, and about things in life. These conclusions are based off my own thoughts, and you have probably read them before on my blog. I feel a bit like Antoine from this book i am going to read. I feel like there is no point to life, and the only reason i don't commit suicide is because i know how stupid it is. I am no longer motivated because all my motivation was external, and now neither parent is pushing me, and if they did, it wouldn't feel legitimate.

Point is, my mother is throwing everything she had, her relationship with my father, myself, and Riley, all into the toilet, on the hope that she can find something that makes her happier. The way she goes about it is like she expects nothing to change with her relationship with Myself and Riley. She says she will always love Riley and I, but she was so quick to discard her relationship with my father, what is stopping her from doing the same to Riley and I?

I don't know anymore. I just don't know.

You Need a Break?

2009-04-30T07:11:00.000-05:00

At home two weeks ago, my mom tells me she will be going out of town for a week. I am fine with this. I figure it is on business, or to visit an old friend. During the week she is gone, i start to think about where she could be. I eliminate work. She works at a moderately successful local chain of banks, and she stopped giving a damn about improving her HR skills years ago. I think about friends she might go visit. None. Any friends she might visit she would rave about before going. I start to wonder, where in the world is my mother?

She comes home, and i promptly find out. She walks down stairs in the middle of a game of Call Of Duty 4 (the modern one, not the rubbish WWII other 3), and hands me a box of Dark Chocolate Toblerone. 6 bars in a single box. I love me some Toblerone, but this is obviously a gift bought in a duty-free shop because it has no flair of the actual location she traveled too. Back to point, my mom hugs me, causing me to die and swear under my breath in the same instant (I'm not swearing because i died). I can feel her radiating heat through her clothes, i give her a good one over and i see she is more bronzed then Micheal Phelps. She cheerily says "I went to Mexico!"
I am baffled. When she left she said "I'm not really sure where i am going." Mexico isn't just a place you go. I ask her a few days later, "Why did you go to Mexico?" She says, "i just needed a break, i think i deserved one."

Yeah, well, i don't. When she said break, she didn't mean from work, she meant from my father and what is happening at home. My mother decided, in November, that she isn't happy with life. Her quick fix? Divorce the man you have been married to for nearly 20 years. Logical, right? Not really, but i digress, that piece of information is important tot he rest of the story. The week before she went on her little trip, my dad and my mom got into a little tiff. Over something completely arbitrary, that my dad probably really isn't yelling about, just using it as a release. I wish he would do that else where. Some where where i don't hear him, and don't have to hold my crying sisters head tight to try and block out the yelling.
I don't think mother deserved a break. Did she think that things were just going to break off nice and easy? That she could just decide to divorce the man she has built a life with, without repercussions? In my opinion, she should take the verbal abuse, take the tongue lashings that she can't stand, so that she can see the evils that her actions have sown.
She needed a break? She needed a break? She Needed a Break? Excuse me, i know i don't clean my ears out that often, so maybe i miss heard you. You need a break, mother dearest? You think you need a break, Oh Mommie Dearest? Excuse me, but maybe you shouldn't be thinking about yourself. Where is my break? I go to school for 7 periods, each one putting more paper into my backpack, and each one giving me more work, and thus, more worries. Randomly i might get a text from you or dad, saying that there is a showing from 4:30 to 5:30 on the house (still for sale, by the way). When i do come home, i am expected to do my homework. This rarely happens because i desperately crave a distraction from the terrible mess my life is slowly becoming. And if i do decide to put down the remote and start my home work, i have to worry about you and dad fighting. So, i ask again, mother dearest, where is My break? My break from the bickering, from the pain of life, from you and the rest of this god forsaken family.

Double-Kill!

2009-04-30T06:59:00.001-05:00

A little less than a year ago, i was sitting on my couch, in my basement, playing video games. I was playing Halo with Riston and Micheal Fortin over live. We were just messing around, not really playing for kills. We were reflecting on the school year past. How we did on our finals, who we were going to miss seeing, how glad we were to have 3 months of nothing ahead of us. Throughout this conversation a single theme kept reoccurring. Show choir try-outs. They had been completed maybe a week ago and visions of sugar plums danced in our heads.

Who would make it? Who wouldn't? Who did we want to make it? Who would make it that we didn't like? Of course, the 'it' i am talking about is Happiness Inc. I refuse to write more than one post about show choir, so ima make this a good one. Happiness is the varsity show choir at Kennedy high school. While we were asking all these questions, there were a couple people we were pretty confident that wouldn't make it. Patrick Kelly, and Zach Scott (I Shouldn't Use Names, but I Don't Care). During the previous season, Patrick Kelly and Zach Scott were caught smoking pot. Because of this, they were suspended from performing for a month, during our largest part of the season. This caused our group a great amount of unnecessary revision to our show, and possibly made the difference between 1st and second place at a few competitions. Patrick made a sincere apology that a bunch of people accepted. Zach, to follow suit, did the same in the half assed way he does everything. He didn't mean what he was saying; just felt that he had to. As we talked about these events, we thought Patrick might make it, but there was no way Zach would.

While we are playing our game, they say, "Spencer the lists are up on line, we are going to go check them." I respond "Okay, let me know if i make it." I continue playing. Alone. For a half hour. Their motionless characters aiming their guns at non-existent enemies. They come back and they say in a slow, soft voice, "Spencer, you didn't make it." I Chuckle to myself, as the sinking feeling in my gut widens and deepens like a sink hole, swallowing any emotion i felt previously. I try and rationalize what has happened. Then i figure it out, They were playing a joke on me. So I quickly drop my controller and rush up stairs to check the list myself

I get to the website, and i look at the list, i scan the boys list, once, twice, four times. No Spencer Anderson. Who is on the list? Many people i would've expected. Then i look on the boys list, and there are two names. Zach Scott, and Patrick Kelly.

I find out later that my good buddy Schug al so didn't make it. There were too many thoughts running through my head. Schug and I behave, do as we are asked, and we don't make it, but Scott and Kelly, they are morons during practice and caused us to have to rework our whole show, and they make it. Does that seem right? Wasn't your motto throughout the course of the year 'You're Always Auditioning?' What happened to that?

I don't know why i wrote this. I guess it is because i am auditioning again soon, and i guess i now seriously doubt both my abilities and their selection process. I don't know.

It Was St.Peter for a Reason

2009-04-23T23:23:00.001-05:00

So, I am in Spanish and we are looking at art. And we are looking at the painting "El Entierro de Conde Orgaz". That isn't the point. I just wanted to say Orgaz. I stumbled across other paintings from the same period (the baroque period, if you were wondering). These were all religious, depicting god, and Jesus and all the heavenly figures surrounded by angels. Classic, a wonderful piece that depicts Jesus Christ being baptised (even the son of god has to be baptised in order to go to heaven). All around god, in the heavens are small, naked children. Another piece has one very prominent child, spreading his legs wide, with his willie wagglin around. This is funny. Why is it that a religion that has a recent history of dangle-diddling of little boys has so many pieces of art with their god surrounded by naked boys? It may seem outlandish, but i think there is a connection.

I think that the entire goal of the christian religion is violating children

Okay, not to that extent. The real goal of the majority religions is to collect as much money as possible. That is a different post.

There is no reason in my mind that Christians would surround there god with naked baby boys other than that being their interpretation of heaven. And i can't believe that there is no connection between priests touching the little boys all through out America (not isolated incidents but a pattern) and the 'putti' in these Renaissance paintings. And the first pope, the leader of the robed pedophiles, was named Peter. Peter is a word for penis. Maybe there is a reason Jesus favored him...hmm...

And as for this painting, I knew orgies arn't a new thing, but do the kids really have to be involved? Really? Couldn't afford a baby sitter? And look at all of them. There are 37 very visible naked children. What did you do? Try and rob a daycare and all they had was kids? did the stoke have agoing out of bussiness sale? Cause i know all those babies did not come out of your vagina.
Religious people now hate me. Well, if they didn't already.

But seriously, would it be too much to ask of your priests to not molest children? Cause, that would really be super. And if they do happen to let their hand wander where it shant not go according to law and god (well, maybe not god) please enforce the law. Don't just give them a swift slap on the wrist and set them free to play doctor with anymore kids. And if you are one of these priests, do the right thing, but don't be like the guy in this article. Take a cyanide capsule while jumping off a cliff and shoot yourself in mid-air.

And as for this painting, i know orgies arn't a new thing, but did you really have to get the children involved? Was a baby sitter too expensive? And look at all of them. There are 37 very visible naked children. Was the stork haveing a going out of bussiness sale? Did you rob a daycare? Cause i know all those kids didn't come out of your vagina 'lady-making-out-with-a-half-goat-half-human'.

New World Order

2009-04-23T14:15:00.001-05:00

What set it off. Not the beginning of the plans for the New World Order, just the first time they have made it so clear to the public that it exsists.

That one is okay, but it throws in clips from "V For Vendetta"... It also focuses almost exclusively on 9/11. 9/11 is an integral part of the Illuminati's plan for The New World Order, but it is important to understand that there is more to it than that one day.

Long one right there, but it is very extensive and relatively informative on the Illuminati. It covers their most recent activity (Up to a point, and that China stuff is arguable) and it goes back to there orgins. Higher quality (for a made for Internet movie)... Did i mention long?

Okay, so, i know this sounds crazy, but i thought so too at first. Even if you don't believe me, which i hope you do, please, just rebel. Rebel against your government. Even if they don't belong to a secret society that wants to remove your rights, strip you of your possessions and track your every movement, they still aren't that great. If anything, at least speak your mind. They don't listen, start a petition. Or do something more drastic, because you know they won't listen otherwise.

What am i trying to say? I don't know. I guess what i am saying is that, there is a lot wrong in the world, and i think there are people to blame. If those people are the same ones who are taking the world from underneath us

Maybe i should tell you what i think is wrong with the world. The American Dream of a 9-5 job, 2 1/2 kids, and a little house at the end of a cul-de-sac. The way i see it, that is no way to live. That isn't how any animal is meant to function. It is this that is destroying our world. Ima write about that now...Ima title it... "How We Caused, and Can Prevent, the End of the World"

Go Do Something Kids. Nothing is as pleasing to politicians and government leaders as the docile masses.

Double-Plus-Un-Good

2009-04-23T09:55:00.001-05:00

All the screens in this school scares me. It reminds me of the telescreens in George Orwell book 1984. The all powerful figure, broadcasting their thoughts, their wishes, their demands to the masses who are forced to watch. If the masses disobey, Re-Education is in order. insubordination is inexcusable. Sure, the Telescreens aren't watching you like they are in 1984, but you know that there is a teacher in every room who is watching you. Maybe i am paranoid. You have read my New World Order Post. that thing makes me sound stark raving mad.

Okay, that's all i think i have to say about that. Lets examine other similarities.

Nope. Too lazy. If i think of some while writing this, i will be sure to inform you.

I really hate the world, or at least the world humans have created. If you are a regular reader, and you haven't picked up on this yourself, you really don't read very carefully. I mean, to miss that theme you would have to either not read the words i put there or be blind and have a dyslexic person read it to you.

I have thought of a Similarity. War for the sake of war. The only difference there is that their war was profitable. Ours isn't. This is because our wars have no longer become about money we don't need or land we think is ours. Ours wars no longer have an objective. All wars are now wars of attrition. Random attacks, killing few, but severely lowering moral.

I'm done typeing about this, sorry, i am just done

Happy Zombie Jesus Day

2009-04-16T10:02:00.000-05:00

Ima tell you something, dearest reader. I find it really hard to take Christianity seriously whenever Easter rolls around. Why? you really need to ask that? hmmm. okay. I suppose if you hadn't asked why, Oh Wonderful Reader, this would be a very short post.

First allow me to examine the Christian holiday of Easter. Jesus, their lord and savior, was persecuted for crimes he may, or may not have, committed. I'm not convinced to their view point that he was completely innocent. Anyways, he was nailed to a crucifix and left to die. People cried, people scream bloody murder, all sorts of emotions flying around. Once his lungs had collapsed on themselves, and he was dead for goodsies (or so it seems...DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN), they put him in a cave. This is obviously where you put a dead person. In a cave, that has been sealed shut. Not 6 feet under. But in a cave. 3 days later, Jesus is up and moving again. so he went to a town, had dinner, then disappeared into heaven. That is the story in a box. I leave out no important details. If i was going to put that boxed version into another box, i would just have to say, Jesus was dead, then he was alive.

Now allow me to explain the traditions used to celebrate Easter. The day before, people dye eggs with a colored eggs. The day of Easter, a giant rabbit, magically produces colored eggs. And inside these eggs, there isn't a yolk, but chocolate. This Giant Rabbit runs around and hides these eggs, all around children's yards.

What do a Giant Rabbit, and Jesus have in common? Nothing. Not a god damned thing. seriously Christianity, how do you expect me to take you seriously when your holidays make no sense. First you have a fat man slide down chimneys and leave gifts under a tree we put in our house to celebrate the birth of Christ, now you have a giant rabbit hiding colored eggs filled with chocolate to celebrate his Resurrection? Ima just say this. WTF mate. WTF.

Tu As Un Chat Dans Ton Colette?

2009-04-14T07:06:00.000-05:00

Tamara has a blog.
Her blog is insightful
Insight Tamara, Insight.

Wow. Those 3 lines took way too much effort. There are 2 ways to spell insight correctly. And 1 way to spell it incorrectly. And Tamara and i couldn't decide which was correct. We decided on the above

Tmaras blog is often a reflection on the events of her day. I have chosen a blog that caught my eye. This one is about events in her life, and how they have effected her view on her future.

This one

Right there

I guess right here too.

She bolds words for emphasis. and the emphasis seems like she just likes looking at certain words larger. Like Good and Fuck. These 2 words aren't next to each otehr, otherwise this blog would be rated NC-17. Her blog actually has a point, which I should Address as well.

Her blog post talks about the future and college. She tells us that she had hoped to go to an ivy league school when she was a youngster (But a Wee WhipperSnapper, if i was irish, thats how i would say that). Over teh course of the last year, she has reevaluated this. Why? You ask why? Because, her idea of success has changed from money and power, to the over all good. Lame right? i know.

but seriously. This is what i am talking about in this post and others. That life and what our society is expecting of us aren't what our priorities should be. She wirtes that societys goals now are to accumulate wealth. I agree with her, and i would like to say, that it makes me feel a little comfort to know that i'm not the only one who feels something is skewed in our societal point of view, which effects its aim, which may cause it to shoot its self in the foot, or even worse, the face.

Guest Writer Series: Schug

2009-04-09T16:20:00.000-05:00

Schug is being a little diagreeable, so ima make him type it.

sooooooooooooooooo here i am.. sitting at a computer typing, now i could be downstairs playing rock band with spencer and friends but nooooooo i'm locked in his computer room. I feel a little vunerable.. like when spencer shut that door he was like "I'll be back.... later." i thought i heard a evil laugh but hoping not. so from now on i'll just sit on this chair and never stand up cuz there's a web cam which means he could see it barge through the door and rape me... He took my cell phone to.. so im sure he's having fun with that texting people and all that gay stuff maybe recording some man orgies that go on when i'm not around "THANK GOD!!"

But anyways i'll just sit here like i am and type away... ooo its time to go to lunch "i'll be back.... later"

~2 and a half weeks later~

Okay so i'm back with a very interesting topic that pisses me off a lot.... MTV reality shows!.... Shows like "The Real World" are stupid and pointless. Half of the time these kids in their mid 20's just drinking and fighting... now how in the hell is this "Real" i know that i've never seen people in the real world drinking all day with people they know and then partying all night for however many weeks they stay in that house. And the fights!! It's like as soon as one drunk person says anything about someone else the two biggest guys, whether they're involved or not, start going at it being all tough say random stuff like "Hold me back! Hold me back or he gonna die!!" Now okay your being held back by a girl thats 200 pounds lighter then you and four feet shorter, I'm pretty sure the other guy's life isnt in danger.

Also these other shows that bring back the people without lives and put them on teams. I just think to myself okay your 40 years old and you were on one of the other stupid reality shows in the 80's... now why are you still on MTV? you should've gotten on with your life a long time ago... but no they just have to act like they're 20 again and get drunk and party and fight eachother. And it's always the oldest one taking on the youngest, just saying if i happened to be the younger one and this 40 year old wanna-be-college-boy wanted to fight id just say, "come on i'm like half your age, thats right you starred on this crappy network 20 years ago and you come back for stupid shows like these.. Really?!?!" Now thats the thing, some people dont get that MTV is just a "Music TV station" That went downhill when they stopped playing what they advertised and started comming up with shows made for low-lifes that want to be on TV an broadcast their fake selves to the world.

What I Want To Do When I Grow Up

2009-04-09T14:07:00.000-05:00

What do you want to be when you grow up? People asked me that all the time. They still do. I get asked that more now then i have ever been asked before. I can never say my real answer though, because it would only raise more questions, and any conversation with most of these people is already unbearable, so i might as well tell them what they want to hear and get the whole process over with.

The real answer to that question is: Nothing. Not a thing. Why would anyone? Unless you go the extremes of everything, there is no reason in my mind for people to want to do a job. There is nothing appealing about it. If you didn't need money would you even bother to show up for work?

Work is responsibility, and i am bad with responsibility. I think responsibility is among my top 10 things to avoid. It ranks just above the Ebola virus and slightly below pregnancy. Resposibility is, usually, the opposite of fun. The only good part about responsibilty is that it usually goes hand and hand with power. The problem with power though, is that any fun you can have with it is usually at the expese of others.

So, i have a proposition. What if everyone did nothing. No, bad idea. A different proposition. What if everyone did somehting, and i did nothing. You have a problem with it? Why? You don't htink it is fair that you have to work and i don't have to do anything? Well, you pay taxes don't you?

Guest Writer Series: Kean

2009-04-09T13:58:00.001-05:00

Hello All 11 People Who Read Spencer's Blog,

So I am 'chillin'' (as the cool black kids say these days) with Spencer who is currently eating a box of Golden Grahams that has been opened for about a month and lying on my floor. Gross? A bit.

None the less I would like you all to know how I feel about the current situation of our economy. I feel absolutely nothing because I don't care. You know why? Because I have many more things to worry about. What you ask? The two black gay guys who constantly hit on me, girls who i would love to be with but are way outta my league, when the next blink-182 album will be coming out, where those last three Starburst Jellybeans went, and why in god's name the news constantly bitches and complains about it when they're not doing shit about it. Yes, you may say "But you're not doing shit either, faggot" but the thing is I don't complain about it... I just complain about those who complain about it. Therefore I am not hyprocitacl in that asspect, but in other ways I am. But really aren't we all? I would say so.

And as for this Darfur shit, I just don't understand why we can't just kill everyone in Africa and just be done with all of them in general. That is actually a lie, I do understand why: BECAUSE THAT'S KILLING WAY TO MANY PEOPLE and would be ridiculous. Speaking of ridiculous things here's a list of ridiculous things:

Hitler's mustache
Lucky Charm's
Greeters at Wally-World
Butt Pirates and Anal Sex
My Sunglasses
Pooping Seductively
Hitler's Half Filled Sack
DDR and the Emo Douchedicks Who Play It
Orangette being better than Name Brand Orange Drank
AIDs

I gotta say as well: itcy buttholes arn't fun whatsoever. I mean there is really no upside to an itchy butthole. If you can think of one tell Spencer please and he can tell me.

Drugs, Drugs, Head on, Drugs, Drugs, Drugs

2009-04-03T23:23:00.001-05:00

I was watching CBS News with Katie Couric, and this is a rare occurrence. I don't like watching News for a couple reasons. It is depressing. Anyone who has ever read any of my other posts are scoffing at me calling something else depressing, but it is, nothing happy ever happens, and when it does, it is some puff piece about a tight rope walker who walked between the world trade centers. The other reason is half of it is a non-event. Like when a plane hit a bird shortly after taking off. Who cares? Was anyone hurt? No. In 50 years, will anyone care? No. third is that whatever news is important of interesting i will eventually hear about from my teachers, my friends, or my family.

But this isn't about that. It is about the commercials. All of the commercials, all six, thirty second spots, were for some form of drug. I now know what to take for poor leg circulation, having aches and pains at night, my gas problem, my raging postmenopausal osteoporosis, and itchy scalp.

Alright, so, this was a bit funny. I laughed out loud. I spent more time listening to disclaimers then actually being persuaded to buy something. This raises some serious questions though. Is it ethical to advertise prescription drugs? They are prescription, right? Why do they need a brand name? Shouldn't the doctor choose what is the best for the patient? Then this brings up another thought. What about pharmaceutical visits to doctors? These doctors receive hand outs, gifts, and compliments (Oh, the devils that they are. They are more persuasive than almost anything). Is that ethical?

My response? Who cares (About my response and the ethics of these advertisements)? Do you really think that that 30 second spot will make e loyal to that single brand of pill for all my medical needs? Oh My, I have Liver Failure, I better take a Strattera. There ad was pretty persuasive. What does it do? Not a clue, but i am sure it will help my liver....why else would that nice doctor on TV have recommended it?

This post has been all over the place, so ima make a jump from prescription drugs to taking drugs without a prescription. There are good reasons, but be warned. Most drugs offer relief from conditions that would otherwise be pretty hard to tolerate. But most come with side effects that aren't favorable. So, unless the drug you are taking without your doctors notice offers you a benefit that you find more appealing then the side effects, go ahead and take it. Por Ejemplo, Taking ADD meds during mid-terms or finals in college. The extra focus boost would serve you well in the test taking area, and the side effect of hunger suppressing powers would also help you keep your mind in the game.

Another jump then. Prescription to Ancient Chinese Herbology, or as i call it in casual conversation, That Crazy Chinese Witchcraft. If you think chewing on a tigers testicle will improve your ability to mate with the opposite sex, you are wrong my good Sir. All it will do is give you that terrible spermy after taste that no woman wants in her mouth after kissing. This other link is to a testicle cookbook. Gross. But it exists.

One more jump. From Chinese Herbal...to the herbal you can get from your local corner....or Jamaica. I am taking about weed, ganja, marijuana, cannabis, or hash. I guess just all drugs that are illegal in these free states. why should Marijuana, Cocaine, or Heroine be illegal and alcohol and tobacco be legal? i guess, my real question is, wouldn't you rather have those things be legal and highly controlled then be illegal with no regulations agency? Wouldn't you like to tag a company with the responsibility of making these things safe as opposed to a loose government organization that can't keep track of the 1000's of dealers and importers within our boarders. besides, the choice to do these drugs is our own. Countries that have loose regulations on drug use have lower levels of use then Americans. Doesn't that say something?

Don't Read This...Seriously, It Is Rubbish

2009-04-03T11:23:00.000-05:00

I don't have much on my mind right now. Quite literally, nothing at all. However, i do have a few announcements. First off, my house is now for sale, and because the Realtor refused to put a sign saying "Own the Property the One and Only Spencer Anderson Lived In, Famous Creator of The Famous Blog 'Insanity 101'" in the front yard, i will advertise that fact now. Come by my house. If you don't wanna, that's okay too, but if you have lots o' money to throw away (everyone does these days, right?) stop on by and see what i could sell you.

I am tired and am experiencing dry throat. I am on concerta and it is greatly altering my behavior and mood. All the happiness friends are gone today and tomorrow. They went to Nashville. Cool Right? I guess

So, Uhm, wanna see something cool? Watch this.

I have to get a job now, because show choir is over. I don't want to work. Work requires effort. If something isn't fun, it isn't worth the effort. why would people choose to work? It is menial and stupid and boring and repetitive and....nesscessary....unfortunately. I wish i was a super hero. I wish i was a writer. i wish i was anything but some unimportant kid in some unimportant town in some very important state that is under appreciated on a global scale, in some country that thinks it is more important then it actually is.

sometimes i feel really alone. Like, not just alone in the way that i am physically alone, but that i am alone in the sense that there is no one like me, or that no one likes me. It is a scary feeling. well, more sad and depressing the scary.

I act like i have a high self esteem, and i am really out going so people think i am and don't take advantage of the kid who is scared to talk to some people, who is afraid people will laugh at the things he is serious about, or not care when he needs help. i guess the real reason i am afraid of some people is i have this false social order in my head. I don't know how it developed, but i have this sort of standings in my head that make it like people have socail classes. it is like the caste system in ancient india.

A Situation Of Dire Concern

2009-04-03T03:00:00.000-05:00

Today a peer brought to light a terrible, terrible pandemic of epic proportions that seems to be sweeping the country, if not the world.

It is so terrible you have to read the article i have found about it. Here is the link. You have to read this short article or else the rest of this post will be meaningless.

I can't believe this has spread like wild fire. If anything, this heinous act should be banned by all 50 states and should have sanctions placed on it by the U.N. from ever being replicated or reproduced or used as troture during wartime on. I am usually a bit of an anarchist, but we need to set up a form of government just to prevent things like this.

For those of you who clicked on the link, you just got Rick Rolled. For those of you who didn't, it is worth the click. It is by far the best rick roll site ever created. It doesn't simply take you to the rick rolled video, but it has an epilepsy induceing background and floating Rick heads. There are other things that make it great, but they are best left for a surprise. Rick Rolling is fun, and funny, because it is a simple action that can get mixed reviews. The proper response is now anger. If it was any other video of any other singer singing any other song it wouldn't mean anything, and you might ask why your friend sent it to you. But he is Rick Astley, and he is never gunna give you up. Why is it funny? Oh, pitiful mindless reader, must i teach you everything? It is funny like everything else on the internet is funny. Because some 12 year old decided it was hilarious, spammed all his friends and then they all did the same thing. Or maybe it started as an office joke. One guy, the office clown/douche, repetedly sends this same video to one guy, and then in retaliation he sends it back to the douchey clown. The douchey-clown then sends it to everyone in the office under the one guys name, and then he got rick rolled by everyone. The douchey-clown, thinking this is great fun sends it to everyone, literally, and so a sensation is born. I love it, no matter how much clown-douchery is involved.

Sunday, March 22: Uhm...No...

2009-03-22T23:42:00.000-05:00

I'm not telling you.

Saturday, March 21: Jeff Kids Are Weird

2009-03-21T11:42:00.002-05:00

Saturday. I wake up, half naked, ask myself where I am. I look around and assess the situation. T.V., couch, lamp. Okay, I am in my basement. I am startled by the phone ringing. "Hello?" I weakly mumble. "Good Morning Spencer, did I wake you?" my all too chipper mother asks me. "Something like that," I barely manage. My throat is dry because I am a mouth breather in my sleep. "Well, I just wanted to remind you to get out of the house by 12:30; People are coming to look at the house. Make sure you pick up the basement." That's right. The house is for sale. Gotta leave by 12:30. I hang up the phone blindly, without saying goodbye. I turn on the lamp and check out the condition of the room. Decent. Shouldn't take to long to clean. What did I do last night...I remember, I played video games until 4 AM. "God," I think "if someone was watching me right now they would think I was hung over."

I leave my house and pick up Evan. We look at connectors that would go from his lap top to his, and my, T.V. No dice. So we go to my house and chill for a bit. Leave my house, chill in the park. Go to his place and chill and watch Weeds.

I leave his house at about 5. Kean calls and says, "Bon fire at my house. You should come." Crazy crazy stuff happened at his place.

I walk into the backyard, fires blazing, smoke rising faster then my dad's blood pressure ever since he stopped eating cheerios. The fire is so hot, I can feel the few leg hairs I have singeing. Kean, Cal, and Nolan (my cousin) were talking about all the crazy shenanigans they experienced while doing the plays. Like the time a friend of theirs went on an improved an entire scene. The conversation would drift in and out of different subjects. We talked about math ("If you were dead, there would be more cookies for me."), Relationships (Who had sex with who) and girls (Cal has an obsession with a girl he isn't dating, and Kean digs a girl who will never do more then laugh at his jokes).

We decide to go cause havoc within the peaceful residential area that is Stoney Point. Just then, Kean's dream girl and her tag along make-sure-I-don't-get-raped friend show up. We decide to put the havoc out of our minds for a bit and talk to the girlies. We chat them up for a bit, then we pile into Cals car. As teenagers do, we start moving before we actually know where we are going. While we are driving, we decide to drive by the KPL (Kennedy Parking Lot) to see how many drug deals are going down. Once we got there, we parked far enough away from the other cars that they wouldn't come and offer us coke, but close enough that we can see what’s going down. The second we stop, someone gets out of there car, so, naturally, I freak out and yell hysterically, "GO GO GO DRIVE DDDDDDRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIVVVVEEEE." Cal over reacts to my yelling and speeds off into the lovely lane parking lot. He stops for a moment to get his bearings, and then quietly says, "There is no one in the parking lot." He thinks, as we sit in silence, and starts to turn his wheel sharply to the left. His foot presses firmly on the gas pedal and we are quickly gaining speed, traveling in a tight circle. The people on the left side of the car are firmly pushing against the people on the right (Which Kean quite enjoyed) and the girls are screaming for Cal to stop. He does so reluctantly. I think there screaming is funny, and so is the spinning, so I whisper to Cal, "Do it in reverse." Cal's lips break into a wide grin, and he puts it in reverse and does the whole process again, along with all the yelling and pleading to stop.
After a misunderstanding ("Tower Terrace" Kean, not "Towers of Terrors") we head back to Kean's house and the girlies decide to leave. They were going to visit other people that night before they left for Mexico the next day (they are eighteen, you know what eighteen and Mexico equals).

We make our way back in side and decide to relax for a bit. That plan is almost immediately thrown out the window when a second group of Jeff teens arrives. These people are loud, arrive quickly and leave just as fast. I am left in a stupor, much like how someone feels after a car accident. One of the kids stays. Travis is his name and faggot is his word. Jesus, I heard him say that more times then I think his heart beat. We all just sit for a while and Kean's starts making a pizza. It was good, but greasier than the dirty corner at Kennedy. We wonder where Alex is, so we call him. He tells us that there are tons of fire trucks, ambulances and cop cars near his house, and that we should go check it out. Everyone is up and moving faster then I realized. By the time I had my shoes on, a group had already made it out the door and started a car. I decided to wait for the next ride, and they take off. As Nolan and I wait for Kean, we grabs a pitch fork and hands Nolan and I a bat and a shovel. "What's this for?" I ask. Kean says, "Remember that group of Jeff kids who came through here? They say a rival group is Tee-Peeing everyone in that group. My sister is in that group. I don't want to clean up toilet paper. We are going to scare them off."

So watch duty begins. We wait, and I start to doubt the validity of that call. All of the sudden, a car comes driving down Kean's street with its lights off. It approaches ever so slowly, and once it sees us, it turns its lights on and starts careening towards us. As it flies by, we hear someone say, "Hi Kean!"

The next hour is spent looking for information about the crazy amounts of official vehicles near Alex's place of residence. No dice. We decide to get our stuff together and sleep outside. As we are setting up, Kailey, Kean's sister, Runs through the backyard She says something like, "They're here" W rush to the front yard to see the same car with people pileing out of it. They All quickly cram themselves back into their car and speed away, we decide to catch them at the other end of the loop. Running full speed, we barely stop them. Just hen Kailey's ride pulls around and blocks their exit...sort of. They make it around and speed off to TeePee someone else presumably. Kiley and her ride chase them off, following close behind. Just then, a third car pulls through, it is Brad and Chocolate Bear. It turns out they are being puppeteers in this whole mess, telling who to TeePee what and when. They promise not to target our house anymore, so we can sleep easy.

We finally get comfortable in the back yard, bundled in such amounts of blankets it rivals our own body weight. We lay down to sleep, and talk on and off, checking periodically for TeePee-ers. Less then 1 half an hour passes then we are all fast asleep, freezing, but too tired to care.

Spring Break Plans

2009-03-20T14:45:00.004-05:00

For spring break, i plan to write a new post every day, just to keep my lovely readers informed on my lovely life while i do lovely things with lovely people. That and it will allow me to be even farther ahead on the amount of posts that i need for this term.

Spring break is a time of opposeing motives for me. My first feeling is a mix of relief and joy. Finally, a break from the monotony of school, and a chance to have some fun with people i don't get to see enough. My other feeling, one imposed by my parents, is that of responsibility and work ethic. It is a new term, i need to stay on top of my homework and school work. Obviously, these are conflicting interests. One half of me says, "Spencer, you get next week off!" continuously, while the other side whispers, "Yeah, but your still in school this week." The louder, less productive side says, "What did you say? Did i hear you say something?" and procedes to kick the living endocrine system out of the weaker, productive side.

Friday, March 20: the beginning

2009-03-20T11:25:00.000-05:00

Friday is a great day. This was a very normal night actually. After school i hung out with Evan for a bit and then we saw I Love You Man with Olivia and Kristi. I would definitely recommend that movie. Basically a guy who only gets along with girls meets the exact opposite of him (he has a masturbation station) and their relationship blossoms and they end up being best friends. So Bromantic. We left there and headed to Carlos O'Kelly's (just pointing out, O'Kelly is irish, not Mexican, or even close). Had chicken, got a bouncy ball, and then i dropped Evan at home. Just then i got a call from Mitch. He says, "Diggity Dawg, come party hither." I say, "Aight Dawg", and make my way to Blakes house.

At Blake's, I am greeted by a chorus of sceraming, newly teen, girls. Blake informs me that we are relocateing the party to Bree's house because of the large amount of young budding estrogen factories in the kitchen that are his sisters friends. Gladly. At bree's, a smack talking kid is playing halo, so i challenge him to a duel. I win, he slaps me, i tell him his balls haven't dropped, he gets angry and his parents tell him to go up stairs, causeing him to take his controller with him, leaving us one controller short of a good time. Blake puts guitar hero in and we start wailing. That was the highlight of the night (you might think it was lame, but honestly, we were being ridiculous and trying to mess each other up and...i don't know, maybe you had to be there)

You're All Going to Hate Me After Reading This

2009-03-19T12:34:00.000-05:00

I don't know how to say this without sounding mean. so here we go.

Nope, never mind, you need some background first. This weekend a kid in my town hung himself. Tragic, i know. I agree it is a bad thing and it is sad and all that terribly depressing stuff. This kid went to a catholic school in my town. Someone has to see where this is going. No?

Well...damn. I guess I'll just have to say it.

He went to a catholic school and he committed suicide. Suicide is a sin (according to these people). He is now in hell (according to these people). But what do they do? They give their entire school the day off to go to his funeral. Uhm, excuse me for a moment? Quick question. Yeah, he is a sinner right? right. Burning in the flaming pits of hell? Good so far. And you are mourning him? Yepo. You don't see anything wrong with this? Nope.

Okay, slower this time.

A person who commits suicide is sent to the seventh circle of hell, turned into a thorny tree and is thrashed at for eternity by harpies. This kid is now a heathenous sinner. You are giving a day off from school to recognise the death of a heathenous sinner? You don't see any hypocrisy in that?

And now you hate me.

Before you create a website dedicated to hating everything that is me, hear me out. If this kid went to a school that didn't preach this particular belief, that suicide is a sin, i wouldn't care. In fact, i would sympathise. But he doesn't. He goes to a catholic school. And nothing makes me more angry then a hypocrite, especially a group of hypocrites. Sorry he killed himself, i am, sincerely. It isn't him i am angry at. It is the school and everything that it says it stands for.

THIS IS CRAZY CRAZY POST TIME WHERE NOTHING MAKES SENSE AND YOUR MIND ENDS UP ON THE WALL BECAUSE OF ALL THE EXPLOSIVE CRAZINESS...BLARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-19T02:00:00.000-05:00

Crazy Crazy post time starts... NOW

Random Link

Random Link

Alright, Random YouTube Video

My throat is a little dry. I wish i didn't have Captain Crunch for breakfast. I should've had Perkins. Or at least something to drink. I got a little captain in me. I shouldn't come to school under the influence. which came first? The chicken, or you? SNAP SON. I bet the Captain Crunch made my throat scratchy. And dry. I want some pancakes. Who was the first bear on the moon? Who was the first queen of England? Who are you and what are you doing in my shrubbery patch?

Once upon a time, there was a small child. Then he grew up, ate a steak or two, worked his ass off, and he died. But before he died he had a child. The child went through the same process, except he ate far less steak, and he died as well. Then he had a child. He went through life, and ate a steak a day. He died as well. He froze his sperm in a bank (how do you think he was able to afford all that steak) and a year after he died he had 50 children. One of these children ate only one steak, and it made him immortal. The pattern is broken, so...FIN!

Sometimes i will think about all the poor starving people in the world and just wish....just wish...they would stop complaining and do something about it.

If i had a dollar for every person i have slept with i would be one poor dude....i would have no dollars.....the hobo on the corner would have more dollars then me....cause of what he has to do to feed his addiction....gross....

sometimes when it snows i marvel at the beauty of the world. The i remember that the next day it will be all dirty and gross. Maybe that is how the world started out. Pure, crisp, clean, just beautiful. But over time, humans mucked it up. It was a gradual process. Maybe, as long as we are using the analogy, maybe every so often, the snowplow gods come and push away the filth of the previous days snow. I think this might be like what the Aztecs were talking about with 2012. My variation on it though is that the dirty snow (old civilizations) aren't completely wiped from the world. They leave behind a legacy, warning future civilizations of the impending doom.

Quick Questions: Pie or Cake? Hamburger or Pizza? Pirate or Ninja? Dog or Cat? Anthony or Ian?

how much would could a woodchuck chuck if the would chuck could use steroids?

If you are allergic to cats, are you allergic to vaginas?

I am going to name my kid Macarena. Hey, Macarena, AHHIGHT.

Math is Fun...

2009-03-17T11:11:00.000-05:00

True Math: Here

True and Funny Math: Here

Funny and Inappropriate Math: Here

Sad Math: Here

Pure Math: Here

Sad and How Girls See It Math: Here

WTF Math: Here

More WTF Math: Here

Not Math: Here

Opposite of Math: Here

Math?: Here

Math Math: Here

Greatest Great Greaty Great Great Math: Here

I Hate Stupid People

2009-03-13T20:03:00.003-05:00

This website is where this came from. This is where it came from originally.
So I was looking around for something about Margaret Sanger for my AP US class, so I search Planned Parenthood. I click on one of the top search results, and I end up at a Blog talking about Thepillkills.com. I was clearly curious. How does the pill kill? Is one of its secret ingredients cyanide? That would be lame. Nope, that's not it. "The Pill Kills" by preventing pregnancy. Uhm....Wait.....Spencer is confused....Okay, so in detail, run that by me one more time....here is how it works. When the pill was first invented, it contained 100-150 micrograms of estrogen. This much estrogen caused heart attacks and clotting. That was bad, so they lowered the amount of estrogen to 30 micrograms. Great, no heart attacks, but now some eggs could get out of the ovaries and had the possibility of getting fertilized. Oh No, What is to be done? You add Progesterone. This causes a thickening of the vaginal mucus, and a tightening of the blood vessels around the vagina. I know what you kids are saying. Nine of every ten people (as if 10 people read this) are saying, "HE JUST SAID VAGINA!" The last person is saying, "How does the magic pill kill?" Well, sometimes, through all of these precautions, an egg is fertilized. The spermies swim their way through the thickened mucus, through the tighter Fallopian tubes, and, rarely, an egg has been released, so if the determined spermies make it to the egg, it becomes fertilized. This fertilized egg has no where to implant itself because of the tightened blood vessels. So, it is flushed out when the women next menstruates. That tiny bundle of cells is what these people are fighting for. This is what they call murder. Here is a question. Why aren't you calling every teenage boy a mass-murderer?

For those of you who don't get that last sentence I am talking about masturbation.
So, these are the same people who won't let scientists use fertilized eggs that were going to be used in artificial insemination, but were rejected and sent to the bio-waste-bin anyway. What is wrong with that? These cells hold loads and loads of embryonic stem-cells, and Christians and pro-life activists everywhere are saying, "Don't use them to study a possible cure for 100's of otherwise incurable diseases, throw them away instead."

So, to conclude I will wrap this up a short message to all pro-life activists who think life begins at the second of conception.

Dear Christians/Pro-Lifers (I'm including you in one group because they are nearly interchangeable),

Keep your nose out of things you don't understand. You are ignorant. You are stupid. Tu eres muy estupido. Why does the pill kill? Because between 2 and 128 cells don't become a human being. Why can't we use cells that are destined for the bio-waste-bin in stem cell research (i am talking about In Vitro Fertillization. They fertillize 12 eggs and select the healthiest for implantation. The other 11 are thrown away.)? Because we interpret the bible as saying not to waste what could become human life when it says Onan "spills his seed on the ground" and god condemns him.

The best part of that? That story is about God telling Onan to impregnate his sister-in-law because her husband has died, but instead of impregnating her, he pulls out, thus "spilling his seed to the ground". Onan was condemned not for "spilling his seed" but rather for not impregnating his sister-in-law, thus disobeying God's direct order. Take that Christians, I can be brushed up on your stupid religion as much as anyone else.

Back to the message I am poorly sending. Do you even know why you fight for this cause? Did you read the Bible? If you did, did you try interpreting it? Or just let the nice molester holding the book tell you what it all means while he diddles away at a little boy under his robes?

~Sorry About the UPDATE, I usually wouldn't do this, But it felt Necessary~

Hello Readers, something has come to your attention. Not all Christians are pro-life. Crazy, huh? So, i guess what i have to say is, sorry pro-choice christians, i didn't mean to lump you with the ignorant masses of other Christians. Sincerly, i am sorry. i know it sounds like in my post that i hate christians. I really hate people who make decisions based on religious reasons. I understand that some choices are made under the influence of religion, but i would like those decisions to keep out of science. They are opposites. One asks for blind faith, the other asks for explaination, and proof. Please forgive me religious pro-choice people, i didn't mean to put you in a category you didn't belong.

Lieing and What It Is

2009-03-13T16:40:00.000-05:00

I read this post by a friend of mine, and I really enjoyed it. But I disagree. Well, to an extent.

Here is what lying means to me. It means a quick escape, it means others happiness, and it is a means self preservation.

Lying is a terribly awesome power that everyone has. I forgot the point I was going for. I got it back. If no one lied, life would be hell. Being a human being would be hell. What would you say if a teacher asked you to turn in homework you didn't do? "I left it at home." or "I was really busy, so I didn't do it last night." My natural response is "This assignment was pointless and would only be used as padding for an unreasonably hard test you are giving at a short notice." What would it happen if every time someone asked you something, you had to tell the truth? Liar Liar, anyone?

Why were you speeding? Because I think these laws are asinine. Can you come to my party on Saturday? No, because no one likes you. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck? None moron. Do you love me? Only if it gets me into your pants. Do these pants make me look fat? Yes.

Sure, lying is immoral and eventually could get you in trouble, but it gets humans out of trouble in a bad situation. It is an evolutionary trick we have developed over time. We protect ourselves immediately before thinking about the future consequences because it will give us a chance to pass on the genetic information that we carry. Yeah, when we lie it isn't usually a life or death situation, but that is how our brain perceives it

So, in response to my friends’ plea to find a way to reform to end this lying and save the human race, I say that destroying the lying ways of human beings might bring about the end of the human race sooner then lying will.

Naughty Naughty Language

2009-03-13T15:34:00.001-05:00

I think this might have the most swears per second of any video on the Internet. It is 27 minutes of "The Sopranos", with all the story cut out, and all the swearing left in. can you watch all 27 minutes? I could but i choose not to. I think the funniest part is how all the swearing sounds the same. all with the same inflection. Oh, what fun the internet is.

I Am Super Cereal Guys Part One

2009-02-15T19:55:00.009-06:00

So, cool, yeah awesome. Those are the words i would use the exact opposite of how my life is going right about now. Wanna know why? Despite my moms wishes, i am going to tell you. Wanna know why? Because i think that if she can do this to us, and she will let the neighbors know, and let the friends of the family know, i think you should know too.

And i believe the next few paragraphs should answer your question thoroughly, Mr.Joker.

So. I am going to be blunt. My parents are getting a divorce. For those of you who know me and my parents this might be a shock. And if that does shock you, you have no idea how i feel.

My parents seemed to be living happy lives. Both of my parents have good paying jobs they don't seem close to losing. They coordinated well, planning out events, who was picking up who, who was shopping for what, who was cooking dinner, and who would attend what child's program if there were conflicts. They made small talk, they went to parties, they had friends over, and laughed and had fun with one another. And honestly, i couldn't imagine a more ideal relationship. They seemed close, they seemed happy, they seemed in love. Notice my use of seemed.

Apparently, my mom wasn't happy. allow me to tell the whole story. It is long and convoluted, but i believe it will be entertaining in the sort of horrific way that a slow motion gun-shot to the head is funny.

It all started about a month before Christmas. About a month and a half actually. One night my dad comes home from work and i can tell immediately that something is wrong. Instead of having a beer or two, he heads for the scotch. This never happens. Only at parties do my parents drink anything stronger then beer. I brush it off. Whatever, not a big deal. Then through out the night, my dad seems to be avoiding conversation and throughout the night he continues to drink his scotch. Eventually, i give up on whatever homework i was struggling through to go to bed. On my way up, I hear a loud BANG-YELL from my parents room. My dad was in there, so, as i always do when something like that happens i yell "Dad are you okay?" My mom comes out of the computer room and says, "Spencer, your dad has been drinking, he probably just stubbed his toe." Alright, okay, no worries so far. My dad yells to me, "yeah Spencer, I'm fine." I go up to bed and i start reading. I hear voices. I, the curious little bugger i am, decide to investigate. I leave my room, and i listen to what i hear my dad say in the computer room. "Faith, you have to think about this. You are a grown women with responsibilities." Cool, that's all i could take before i had to leave. I had no idea what it was about, but i knew serious shit was going down.

So, I am think about what i heard for a couple days, and i am worried. A couple nights later, my dad and my mom are yelling at one another. I am baffled. This never happens. Not at any point in my memory have my parents ever fought. At this point my mind is screaming. What happened? What could've caused this? What is happening, and what aren't my parents telling me?

A couple nights later me and my mom go shopping, and i ask her what is going on. She tells me in such a sad way that i am left a little emotionless. She tells me that she doesn't love my dad anymore. That she hasn't for quite some time. That she hasn't been happy with her life for a while now, and that on and off for years she has felt this way, and she just finally decided to act on it. I ask, "Why? What made you feel that way?" She gave me the generic adult answer, "It is so hard to explain, Spencer, And because you haven't experienced it, you wouldn't understand." That is the biggest load of shit i have ever heard, but i gobble it up. How could i understand? i mean, i am but a lowly teenager, without a full grasp on my emotions. So at first i am mostly sad that my mom feels this way, and that my parents are growing apart. I also, at this point, thought that they might reconcile, and fix their problems.

A week later, we have a family talk, and we all sit in a circle, me, my mom, my dad, and my sister. They give us they cliche, "We still love you no matter what. It isn't about you. We will always be there for you." Then they go on to talk to us about whats going on and that things will change and about how they don't want our relationship with either of them to be affected my this. The whole time this talk is going on i have the abnormal mix of wanting to throw up and wanting to punch my mom in the face. While they are talking, I can't bring myself to look into there eyes. Those disgusting, deceitful eyes. All i can do is look at the ground between them. A minute after they say, "Do you guys have any questions?" I look up and, with a scowl on my face, say "I am going to go take a shower."

A couple of weeks go by, and we are at break, Slowly through out these weeks, the amount of interaction my parents have is low. Eventually, winter break rolls around, and Christmas is here. I am so excited. Christmas morning, i wake up, and walk down stairs. It all passes as if everything was normal. Gifts exchanged, breakfast eaten, and play with the new toys begins. It feels as if we are finally back to normal. The next few days would prove exactly the opposite.

I will continue this story tommorow, but, honestly, it is late, and i am tired of rememebring all this. It just reminds me what reality is. The next installment is extra interesting.

Lucy, You Got Some 'Splainin to do

2009-02-15T16:40:00.005-06:00

I have some explaining to do, to you, my wholesome reader.

Dear Reader, My blogs will become less and less angry over the next few weeks. I guess this is due to alot of things. Firstly, i am getting more and more angry in real life. My blog was a place i expressed anger, an emotion i rarely felt on a day to day basis. Now, i feel it almost constantly. It is sad, i know, and i fear for my future, and for that fact, yours, but unless my circumstances change drastically, i see no end for these feelings in the near future. There is a blog post coming with more details about why, but trust me, it is quite the story, too long for this post. The second reason is i am taking a new medication. It turns out when i jokingly say "i am clinically insane" I wasn't far from the truth. I have ADD. I just read a blog post about it by my friend Lars. A great story, and a great piece of writing. But i am now taking Concerta daily. It is a slow release form of Ritalin. It has some sooper dooper side effects like loss of appetite, nervousness, and, mood swings. The mood swings make the tiniest things, be it my friends story telling, by friends complaining, by mothers tone/actions/requests/existence, seem like they are trying to make me hate them. Little things are like nails on a chalk board. And i respond in ways that are completely disproportionate to what is actually happening. Like my friend complaining about me changeing my plans. He is a guy who complains and is good at it. I can normally tune it out, but for some reason, it really got on my nerves. So i turn around and let him know that his bitching is getting old, and that he should just learn to accept things that he can't change, and that plans change so he can deal with it. 30 seconds later, i didn't feel angry at all. Crazy right? I know i am. So, please forgive me if my normal level of crazy unprovoked hatred is lower then normal, it is due to the fact my level of crazy unprovoked hatred is higher then normal in my day to day life.

Blarging and What it is Alla Boot

2009-02-12T06:59:00.004-06:00

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Hokay, so, I actually was assigned to write this. So, if it lacks my normal flair of comedic hatred filled rants, please bear with me. Think of this as the test of the emergeny broadcast system going off in the middle of your favorite show right during a climatic moment. It isn't long enough to change the channel or walk away and do something productive, so you sit there and grumble waiting for the good stuff. O yeah, and that video up there has nothing to do with this post. I think i will throw in some random links so you people out there will like this post more.

Blogging is like a diary. A pretty obvious thing to say, i know, but it is also like a newspaper, and a diary. I say diary twice becasue it is more of a diary for me then anything else. and if it wasn't a diary, i wouldn't write on it nearly as much as i do now. Granted, i don't write about what i am feeling or what happened to me, but i do write about how i feel about things i see, experience, find out, and anything else that comes to mind. So, i guess it isn't so much a diary as a place i get to yell at stupid people for being stupid and where i can point out teh idiocracies of life.

Allow me to restate that in a clearer way. My blog is a place i go to write about anything i want. I don't care what you people think about what i write. I write what i write because i want to. I see something funny, or stupid, or something so stupid it is funny, and i want to tell the world about it. That i think about it and realise that there are no people listening. So i get angry. Then i take my anger and throw it on whatever i am writeing about at the time. I also translate any anger i feel at the moment against anything else, be it my parents, my teachers, my school, my friends, the news, the evil of the world, whatever it is, and write about it. Anger is an emotion I am not aloud to express in real life. I feel this is a terrible thing...however, that is a different post.

Do This In The Summer

2009-02-10T17:31:00.001-06:00

Summer is a long ways away, but that doesn't stop every kid in every school in every state from thinking about it. Each day i think about all the cool things i will do. Most of them are stupid, or boring. But the beauty of Summer is that it can be whatever you want it to be. As i think about all the cool things i want to do, i want to make a list of things i plan on doing. I never do. So, this will be my list. Or a sorta of list, but not really. Lemme rephrase that. I will tell you things i plan on doing in the summer, and things i recommend you do. A warning, however, is that alot of these things arn't legal. Not Like killing a man illegal, but a misdemeanor and a small fine illegal, with no one directly hurt. That is broad. Let me give you an example

I was opening the internet the other day when i saw an article about a hoax that has spread across multiple states and puzzled authorities at first. There are people all around the country who are hacking into electronic road signs and making them say things like "Zombies Ahead". Awesome right? Apparently it isn't funny says authorities. They are looking at it from a safety stand point saying they are disstracting drivers, an not informing them of what they are actually supposed to look out for ahead. In my professional opinion, I think this is funny, and is totally worth it. So you kids are saying, "But Spencer, I have little to no computer abilities, I can barely type a sentence, how am i supposed to hack into these signs? Surely they are complicated, and only skilled hackers can do this." Nope. Wanna know how i know? The article stupidly gives a link to the site that the directions on how to do it are located. Would you like the link with out reading that pesky article? Mmk, but know i am only giving you this because i really, REALLY, want to see those ridiculous signs along 380. Deal? Deal. Here it is. Alright, I plan on doing this sometime, because it is real easy, and because i want something i did to get its own article in the paper.

Your Just Another Brick in the Wall

2009-02-10T07:39:00.003-06:00

"In Spain, when you die, most people don't get buried in the ground or cremated, but put in walls. When I went to my wife's uncle's funeral, and saw them placing placing the slab in front of his grave, all I could think of was the line "All in all you're just another brick in the wall."~Dave Barnett~

That is awesome. Because in the end they are literally just a brick in the wall. It isn't just a feeling kids who think they are deep get....awe....

Well, I really don't think i can give you people 400 words about that. Well, I like that song. I don't like writing about music because there is always that one guy out there who hates, absolutely hates, your music. Whatever else the post is about, you mention a song and immediately, this jerk jumps down to the comments section and, in all caps, writes something to the extent of, "That song sucks balls. That band sucks balls. You suck balls. My favorite band is better, and has a larger set of balls than your favorite band, which sucks my favorite bands balls."

Are you that guy? Do you really want to be that guy? Do you really want to say balls that many times?

Someimes I wonder if anyone actually thinks this is funny. And if they do, i am starting to think it is cheap humor. I said balls 5 times in 4 sentences. Am i funny? Sometimes, i think. not always. No one is ever funny all the time.

But for real, that one guy is preventing me from writing a blog about Jack Johnson, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Fratellis, and a whole gaggle of other bands that i like but other think are balls.

Random Post Weekly

2009-02-10T07:09:00.002-06:00

take a look at this picture. Now what could this post be about. Pedophilia? The joy of childhood? that i am going to be a parent soon? Nooooooppppeee none of those. Lemme give you another picture, then you take another guess.

Is it about Monkeys? Oh I know how you love monkeys. Or is about death? They could both be dead, right? Is it about things that are less intelligent then me? Nope. It is about sleep.

Sleep is one of those past times that i think everyone can enjoy and appreciate. But life has decided that sleep should take a back seat compared to the rest of life. Work, homework, school, extracurricular activities. They all take away from that precious little me time that we get so little of. you want to sleep, do you? Do you have your homework done? You have practice in an hour, you can't sleep. You want to keep sleeping? You have school to get ready for, you can't sleep. You want pudding? If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?

Sleep is easy, and if done for a long enough amount of time, it is the most awesome experience. not to mention the chemicals that are released in your head. Mmmm...where do you think dreams come from? I am sure you've all had that mega trippy dream, where crazy stuff happens that you would never expect to happen. And then there are the dream that make you ask, "Well what does that mean? I just kissed my 6th grade LA teacher while hunting family members in the jungle."

Follow Up

2009-02-03T16:40:00.005-06:00

Someone told me they read my blog today. More specifically, they read the post titled 'Why You Shouldn't Read This'. At the end i ask readers to leave a comment on my blog if they read it. He didn't. Please don't be like him and not leave a comment.

Dear R.B.
This is what you get.

I am trying to start something. I have decided it is going to be called Linked! When you read someone's blog, and you see something you like, preferably someone that you actually know, You hyperlink them to your blog. This and 'Why You Shouldn't Read This' will be the beginning. You inform the person that they have been 'Linked' by commenting on the post that you like then you tell them to link someone else. Actually, this sounds alot like one of those "SEND THIS TO 30 PEOPLE OR YOU WILL DIE IN 23 YEARS AND NEVER FIND LOVE OR TRAVEL TO BOTSWANA" chain mail things. So, if you want to do this, go ahead and join, if not, i will do it, and no one else will. Either way, i don't care.

Linked starts...NOW!

I was looking at a friends blog today, and i noticed something. He has 3 posts, in a row, about the super bowl. Alright, at first, when i saw that, i said, "Geez Wristo, I get that your blog is about football, but get some more material." I was willing to let that slide, after all, his blog is about football, and the Super Bowl is the biggest game of the year. Then i noticed that two of these posts were about the commercials. Thats when i started laughing a little bit. That when i said, "Wait a minute kid, isn't your blog about football? 3 posts about the biggest game of the year, thats cool, i mean, alright, why not, but when you talk about what happens between plays more then the actual game, that when i get a little confused?" However, i did like the play by play. One problem i have with those play by plays is that whenever i read them i always wonder, "was he taking note on the game? Is he picking these up off the internet? Maybe he has a photographic memory...That would be the coolest. But, none-the-less, i did enjoy all 3 posts, and then i read your post about the show choir rankings and i completely agree with you there, it is quite absurd how these rankings don't take into account the difficulty of the competition. Nice Blog old boy, it was enjoyable and easy to read, unlike mine.

And so, Linked has begun

Insanity

2009-02-02T17:34:00.006-06:00

What makes a person insane? Think about it. What makes a crazy person any less sane then you or I? well, i guess a better phraseing of that question would be, What make you more sane then me?

Blamzo, there you go, right in the smacker. Gotcha fool. Alright, back on point. What makes the sane go insane, or the 'sane' get the opprotunity to claim people are 'insane'? I dont think they can, it doesn't work like that. Well. It does, but it shouldn't. Insanity is often the imbalacnce or hormones and chemicals in the brain, causeing it to react, and behave differently then people are used to. I didn't say normal, because what is normal? I can be 'normal' when i want to be. If normal is measured by the way most people behave, then everyone is insane. You go to work everyday, you tink your opinion matters in political affairs, you believe in God.

Jumping off the God point. Since when has talking to God been a ticket to a padded room? I htinkthat is a point against God. Maybe that is why God hasn't shown his face in 2000 years. Because every time he tries to have a polite converstaion with a homeless man, the poor guy is sent to the happy house. God must feel guilt about this. That is why he only talks to the homeless, because he doesn't want to ruin a successful guys life. And why isn't praying considered an insane act? It is a person talking to an invisible all powerful man in the sky. Not only is this person invisible, but he knows everything you and everyone around you do wrong, and is going to punish you for it...later. he isn't going to let you come to his special party. So, ha. That is unless you decide you feel bad and have a little conversation with him, or a preist.

Another insane act is trusting preists. How many kids have been molested by trusted church officials. Random insulting thought. What does the popes harem or 10 year old boys looks like? Back on point. Why would you continue leaveing your kid alone with these people? are you hopeing to make a killing in the settlement? cause thats what it sounds like you are trying to do. If so, you are a terrible excuse for a human being. Coming from me that means something.

wow that became more a rant about religion then insanity. oops. sorry. wait. nope. not sorry, just a little suprised.

Death

2009-02-02T16:48:00.004-06:00

The other day i felt like i was going to die.

This wasn't the normal sense of the word. It was in a way that i thought was quite perplexing. I woke up, and i felt like i was going to die. I wasn't in pain, i wasn't in anyway mentally or physically in any harm, but i had the feeling that i was going to die. It was quite an interesting feeling. It was nothing like i had ever felt before. I can't think of a situation that accuately simulates what i felt. I was going to say it was like a person putting a gun to your head. But in that scenario you know how you will die. I thought about terminilly ill patients. Nope, they know about how long till they die. I just felt like death was coming for me soon. No specific time, no specific way, just...coming.

Before i got out of bed, i had to decide how i would react to this feeling. I sat there and i just felt it. Focused on treasureing this feeling. Not many people can say they have felt this. I felt it, and i wasn't afraid. It didn't change how i behaved through out the day. I wasn't afraid to leave the house, i didn't have someone taste my food before i ate it. I just went through my day, and continud living. I can't exactly say why i didn't change. Because i honestly felt i was going to die. I honestly believed this feeling meant something. That i was going to die. It didn't change how i behaved through out the day at all. Ater this, I had to ask myself, "Why didn't you change? Why wasn't i scared?"

I came up with a few possibilities. First i contemplated whether it was because i had led a happy life, and would be content with dieing. No that isn't it. Life for me has been good and happy overall, but i am no where hear ready for death. I then thought about if it was because i didn't lead a happy life and i felt life wan't worth living. That wasn't it either. I am definately not ready to die, life has too many possibilities and i haven't experienced enough of them yet.

I continued thinking, and i didn't come up with an answer. Honestly. For real. I couldn't think of a reason i wasn't afraid of death. But i want to ask you a question. If you died today, would you be happy with the life you have lived? What could you do today that would change that from a no to a yes?

Why You Shouldn't Read This

2009-02-02T15:51:00.006-06:00

I was talking to my friend today about our blogs, and he said he had read mine. I was suprised. This is the third person to tell me they read it. And almost scariest of all is that they all seemed to liked it. well, i guess the true scariest part for me is that they recognised it as me. granted, i haven't done the best job at concealing my secret identity. But still. I got to thinking about the fact that these people actually read my thoughts. These things that i write without truely thinking about what i am saying. This prompted me to give you, my (hopefully former) readers reasons not to read my blog.

First off, i would like to point out my subject matter. I am never nice. I am hardly ever happy on my blog (and increaseingly more in life). Why do you want to read something that is so.....negetive? Honestly, if i found this blog, i would read half of a post, wait for it to get happy, and then realise it wasn't going to, and stop reading. I read on another one of my friends blogs that she wasn't going to write something she wouldn't want to read. I am doing the opposite. I write negetive for a couple of reasons. Becasue it is easy, because i can't be negetive in person, and so that you won't want to read it. I seemed to have misinterpeted the third.

Next is my terrible grammer and punctuation. Dear god it is horrible. see right there? I didn't capitalize 'god' or 'see' in tyhe previous 2 sentences. Why Oh Why, dearest reader, do you put up with this pitiful excuse of an exposition? I wouldn't. i would stop reading and never return.

Third is one that hurts a little bit, but i am being realistic. My writting isn't that good. Even on the posts i actually try, it is pretty pathetic. My 'The Protagonist and The Antagonist' series (2 part so far) is stupid. It has a weak background, a weak cast of characters, a weak story, and, so far, is just plain weak writting. Christ, i am so uncreative, i couldn't even give my characters names. Their names are like name characters the good guy and the bad guy. Or main character and side kick. It is bloody rubbish. And the times i am not really trying it comes out as if i am some negetive, angry soul, who wants nothing more then for everyone else to die so that he could have some peace and quiet.

So, Dearest reader, i ask, no no, i plead, that you finish this post, and never return.

But, if you choose to come back, choose to wade through the over flowing cesspool that is my blog and you happen to find a little diamond ring someone accidentally ate and the poo'ed out, leave a comment. It is encouragement for me. I am finding it more and more difficult to write these things and recieve no feedback, no...sign...of people actually reading, or careing about what i have to say. I don't expect you to care, but just write me what you thought. Whether it was rubbish, or it has become the foundation of a new religion you are starting, just write something. Anything. give me a sign.

The Antagonist and The Protagonist

2009-01-31T17:28:00.001-06:00

The long awaited, the long overdue, the not very long, second installment of my attempt at a super-hero story

Childhood was very different for our two children. Each of which was intertwined with the other in ways that neither of them, or their parents, even realised.

The Antagonists first years of life were spent in complete ignorance of his abilities. The incident in the hospital was forgotten by everyone invovled. The mother had no idea what happened, and even forgot teh birth, due to her concussion. The nurses and doctors ignored the fact the child and mother just went from one place to another instantaneously and were just happy eveyone was fine. Father didn't recall anything because in a fit of rage at finding out he had no powers but his child did, he went rampaging right into a metal pole. The most unusual part about his childhood was his dads continuous failure at complicated heist, and he vowed never to be in the crime business, or at the very least never to be a complete failure.

Our Protagonist was twice as normal. He was happy, content, and never had a lick of trouble with anything. He always had enough food, his parents had struck gold on the stock market, and he had no siblings. The no siblings thing could've gone either way, but his parents felt they had gotten really lucky with this first child and didn't want to risk getting anyhting less then perfect the second time. Many a time, our Protagonist's' life was put in life threatening conditions. Like when his more left him alone in the park for 3 minutes when he wwas 2. He was abducted, and smuggled into a plane headed for Indonesia. The plane was shot down by the Air Force, but fortunately The Protagonist was strapped into the only parachute as a makeshift car-seat, and as the plane was shot down, he was flung out, the parachute, being faulty, opened on its own, and he landed safely in his stroller. And all of this happened before his mom noticed he was gone

Once our characters hit 5 they attended kindergarten at the same elementary school, in the same class. They became quick friends, and kindergarten was the most normal year of their lives. From that point on, life for them only got more difficult.

Like i said, not very long, but background information has never been my strong suit, so once we get to the action it should pick up. I also have an idea of what my next part will actually be about, unlike i did at the beginning of this part.

Sling Shot

2009-01-31T14:33:00.008-06:00

When i was 12, i had a sling shot. I had been living in New york for about a year, and my first Summer there had rolled around. Little known to me, New York can grow some pretty good peaches. Also little known to me, my parents like to eat peaches. This all seems unrelated....dang....related was what i was shooting for.

Ima start over. I moved to New York in 5th grade. It was miserable. The weather was disgusting, i had the devil as a teacher, and no one like me. The entire year of 5th grade has shaped me into the cynical kid i am today. Exactly what you read in my blog is what New York made me. So, once summer rolled around i was pretty excited. It would definately get rid of 2 of my problems and give me timte to work on the 3rd. Just like we did in Iowa, we would go to the farmers market every saturday in the summer. This farmers market was massive. It had stalls for everything. Produce, baked goods, dried meats, authentic honduran food, and handmade toys. I loved them all. Every saturday I would get something from every stall, except one. The toy stall. My parents reasoned it was needless and they would break in hours, and i agreed. Untill one saturday i passed one of the toy stalls and i saw the sling shot. It was Black plastic, with an arm brace, a leather sling, and medical tubing in place of rubber bands. It was magnificent. After pleading with my parents i convinced them to let me get it.

When I got home i looked for something to shoot and somethign to shoot at. I found rocks. They were cumbersome and never fit right in the sling, and once you found one that fit, it wasn't worth looking for it. But nothing else worked at all, so i was stuck with it. I was dissappointed to the point that my sling shot was left nearly untouched. The whole saturday i sat in my backyard, listening to The Romantics (got to love them.) and watching my parents eat peaches. The next day, i walked outside and picked up my sling shot, sighed a sigh that can only come from a young child when his dreams are broken, and put down the sling shot. Thats when i noticed the peach pits. They had dried over night, and were about the size of an eye-ball (weird reference for size, but it is all i could think of that was that size). I pickedup my sling shot, put one ove the pits in the sling, and fired. It was a bit like the time Emmett Brown hit his head on the toilet and saw the Flux Capacitor. I stood in awe, shouted great scott, and ran to find the pit. I was at the base of the tree i shot it at, completely intact. I hadn't been that happy since i was a little girl in Sweden....i don't rememebr where i was going with this....i guess what i am trying to say is that it was pretty awesome.

If i rememebr the point i will let you know in a latter post.

Life, the Universe, and Everything

2009-01-31T14:01:00.001-06:00

Continueing on with the reason your life is meaningless in the grand scope of things.

That could be like this type of posts sign off...except more like a sign...in...

Alright, so, you arn't special, and the universe doesn't cease to exsist when you do. That is the quick summary of last post.

Those of you who believe in God, may want to stop reading. Either that, or stop being ignorant and close minded. Alright. Disclaimer enough? Because that is the nicest thing i will say about you in this post. Good.

God doesn't exsist. To be blunt, that's how it is. People cling to the idea of a God in an attempt to make human-kind's exsistence justified and special. Why are we here? "BECAUSE GOD MANDATES IT SO!" shouted the brainless masses. Why do we go to church, pay people to tell us how behave, not have premaritial sex, not wear condoms, wage war,be racist, not eat pork, , or marry 17 people? "BECAUSE GOD MANDATES IT SO!"

You. You single person of the brainless mass. You are reading this because you put down your bioble long enough to check the newest pope news and just happened to stumble across this. More importantly, you ignored the above disclaimer. You thought you could handle it, not get offended, and be fine with what ever i say. But you arn't, and thats why you are writting a letter to the state legislature to try and get the internet banned because it is saying bad things about you. Pitiful moron.

For those of you who read the disclaimer, thought about it, and decided you would at least hear what i had to say before you passed judgement, this next part is important.

The fact that there isn't a god wasn't somehting that i just one day decided. I played with the idea for a long time. My family wasn't particularly religious, but i was still aquainted with god. I thought about the question for years. I feared walking into churches because i thought my doubt might cause god to be angry, and make me burst into flame. I thought about it silently. I didn't want my family to know i was feeling this way. I thought about what it would mean ot me, to everyone, if there wasn't a god. It scared me at first, then the more i sat on it, the more reasonable it became.

These were the decideing factors for me, what made me accept the idea of no god. I thought about it from a scientific point of view. I asked myself, if i walked up to a clergy man, and said, "Prove it", what would his response be. He would hold up a holy book. All of which are writen by men under the dirrection of god, or are written by men who reaccount the actions of god. Are either of these books that are dirrectly given to men from god? Nope. Is it more likely that these men have pulled the ultimate scam on human-kind? Definately.

Another thing that told me it was true is the establishment of the church. No other establishment demands you attend, demands you pay them, demands you feel bad about what you have done, and then gives you nothing in return, expecting you to return the next week and repeat the process. If any other organization ran this type of bussiness, not a person would attend. Except psychologists...but they don't demand, you come to them.

After that i thought about, and almost all religions hold humans above animals, and say that humans are alone in the universe. Like i said in my last post, space is infinite. The probability that there is life on a planet is slim, but with the amount of planets, and the amount of space there is, it is certain there is more life in the universe.

Life, the Universe, and Everything

2009-01-31T14:00:00.001-06:00

latey i have had alot of time to think about the meanig of life. and i have decided i have discovered it. Wanna know what it is? Good. it is...42...just kidding, although that would be pretty cool. i have decided the answer to the ultimate question of 'what is the meaninjg of life?' is that there is no meaning. Surprise. your life, and mine, could stop exsisting, and nothing would change. i guess the earth would stop dying, but other then that. oh yeah, and there would be loads and loads less suffering in the universe. gah. ok. My guess is that you want to know why and how i came to this conclusion. Okay, i will tell you that as well. Because each human being holds its own life in such high esteem, it feels as if there has to be something out there making sure that it stays alive, and for every moment that this happens, this human also thinks that there is a reason they exsist. Some grand cosmic reason. Some divine purpose. This isn't true. In the grand scope of things, each person is like an electron or proton on a a single peice of sand. each peice of sand represents a small, miniscule peice of space. Tiny and insignificant. but this sand accumulates and forms great dunes. These great dunes combine to create the expanse of sand we call The Saharra Desert.

Before i continue, i would like to point out this is a bad analogy. It is a bad analogy for a couple reasons. First, space has no bounds. No finish, no beginning. Just foreverness. Secondly, the Sahara desert was create by humans. Inadvertantly of course. You see, in the early years of agriculture, we decided it was a good idea to 'slash and burn' the exsisting forrests. This created a very fertile area, but only for a few years, then it became useless. So, they moved on and did it again. These useless areas became the Sahara Desert. So the idea that no one created it as i expressed somewhere below (or in another post) is lost in this analogy. A third way this analogy is bad is that you could reasonable argue that without the protons that create the individual peices of sand, you would have no great dunes. I guess that analogy isn't as briliant as i thought it was when i first came up with it. I think i will have another go at it.

In the grand scope of things, each person is like a snowflake. Now as the snow falls and accumulates, it can pile up and create snow drifts and literal walls of snow. All this snow falls on top of Mt.Everest. Now, All that snow may melt, and it will, because that is the destiny of all snowflakes. But once all the snowflakes melt Mt.Everest will still be there. Except, Mt.Everest isn't just Mt.Everest. It is infinately tall and infinately wide, and the space the snow took up was nill compared to the complete thing.

That one is better.

Ramble On

2009-01-31T13:55:00.004-06:00

Here comes the filth.

I say filth for 2 reasons. first because when i sit down to write these things, no matter how hard i try, i end up saying terrible things that i may or may not mean. The internet is a hard place to be nice. Second, is that i have to write this, so any disgusting peice of trash thought that comes to mind is just written down. And to further enhance this is that my blog isn't graded on quality, but quantity. Looks like 400 words? Good. I could say anything, such as my beliefs on why the flying purple man in the sky won't come down no matter how hard and loud you yell.

So, i think i ma just going to ramble at you, dearest reader, becaue i can't honestly think of anyone who would actually want to hear whati have to say. Who am I? Why should you care about my opinion about...well...anything. I rant about God. Why should you care. I am some uninformed high school kid. I rant about school. Why would you read that, O faithful reader? I am a kid, of course i hate school. I talk about random things i find on the interent. Alright, i guess. But what difference does it make if i like it or not. I am just some kid. I can't vote, i can't live on my own, i can't have sex, drink, or even manage my time in a responsible way. Yet i sit here and ramble on about my (sometimes) sincere thoughts and feelings. I was just thinking. If i found my own blog, and read it, i wouldn't care. And if i found any of your blogs (all of you who are in my class and say 'hey Spencer actually wrote something, i think i'll take a gander at it') i would probably think the same thing (if i didn't know you i mean). Mr.Ayers preachers that the internet is a grea place for everyone to get published, but i think there is a reason not everyone was published. It acted as a filter. The nuggets of crap was read, and then disposed of. The nuggents of gold were read, then published in various publications.

I hope the above helps everyone realise how insignificant their opinion is.

Ramble On

2009-01-31T13:53:00.004-06:00

Ice cream makes me happy. I cried in my sleep last night. I don't remember why. All i know was that everyone else was perfectly content. They were happy. I was crying, sobbing, as if something terrible had happened, which it had, or was about to. They all knew about it too, which is the scary part. They know something terrible, absolutely horrid, was happening, had happened, or was going to happen, but they didn't care. They all had their smiles plastered on. I would walk up to the people i knew, the people i trusted, and exchange words. They look at me with those disgusting smile. They speak back. I explain what is happening. They look at me, still smileing, and try to change the conversation. I know what this dream means. but i don't like it. and my parents won't let tme tell the internet about it, because once it is on the internet EVERYONE will know. As if everyone who cares won't find out eventually. Parents are stupid. but that is a different post. The dream. While it was happening, I could feel myself crying in real life, and i wanted out of this dream so bad, but i couldn't, because the reason i wanted out was so real, was so...actual...that I couldn't get out. It was so real i thought it was reality.

I would like to use that as a jumping off point. I want out of reality. Things are happening now that i have no control over, and they affect me in more ways then i want people to know. Especially my parents since they are the root of all this evil. Reality is just too real. There is no escape from it either. That might be the worst part. You are stuck with it untill you die. Suicide, however isn't a plausible solution, because death is worse then life, because there is nothing after life. So don't be alarmed, O wholesome reader, when i say life sucks. Death sucks harder.

My life right now is too real, i guess is where iwas trying to go with that. Too much is happening that makes life less fun and more real.maybe not for you right now, but it is for me. School, parents, other people. It all builds up, and i guess i can really only handle one at a time. This is a bad thing for my school work because my parents arn't going anywhere...well...yet i guess...

Why I Do Bad In School- Part 4

2009-01-28T16:47:00.004-06:00

I am looseing steam.

This is going to turn into what parts of school i don't like, i think that that is the best course of action.

Dirties. They are what make an ordinary flock of docile sheeple look like they are plaugued and arn't even fit for the slaughter. Here is an excerpt from an essay i wrote pertaining to dirties.

While I am in school, I can’t help but run into people and groups of people who make me gag a little on the inside. Even the beautiful grasslands of Africa, with their graceful lions and majestic elephants, have their naked mole rats. There are entire groups of people whose life goals seem to be not taking showers and touching each other in their no-no places as much as humanly possible. I am forced to see these people because there are so many of them, and they clump like a malignant tumor. These kids are deemed ‘the dirties’. No other groups name is so universally known. We don’t really have a jock clique or a nerdy clique; we have ‘the dirties’. I dread having to walk past them everyday. And on the off chance one of them touches me, I treat it as if they have the plague, scrubbing and scrubbing in fear I might catch whatever it is that has possessed these people to be so disgusting. I know I am contradicting myself from above about how (removed a word) diversity is great, and it is. But even when you have 31 flavors to choose from there is always that last tub that is unusually full and looks a bit sickly, and you take a look at what flavor it is and it turns out to be praline, octopus, and steamed carrots.

i like it for 3 reasons. It sounds like something i might say, it was fun to write (and read hopefully), and now it counts towards my word count.

These people serve no purpose, and will serve no purpose, to society other then learning the phrase 'Would you like fries with that?' and executeing it correctly.

Iam going to leave now. I don't feel like being home when my dad gets here.

Why I Do Bad In School- Part 3

2009-01-28T16:17:00.005-06:00

Read the previous 2 posts before reading this post.

My final Beef is, an LA class in 0 hour? really?

mmk, so, ima rant and rave about something else now, still about why i do bad in school.

Some teachers seem to have fallen into their jobs because they have always been in school, and they have troubles imagining anywhere else. And these are usually the least competent teachers. Some teachers use that same logic and they are great teachers, but these are all teachers who choose to teach not because they were afraid to do anything else, or can't do anything else, but teach because they love it more then breathing. Back to the crappy ones. These teachers are incompetent and will do anything to hide it. Whether it is behave in a way that makes them completely unapproachable by students, or just being physically unavailable to help when the student needs it (like not having a free period, or not being here after of before school). I have experienced both, and i am suffering a couple this year. Teachers change how well a student absorbs the content of the class.

I just got a thought. People who read these will think i am just placing the blame for the problems i cause for myself on outside sources. I have already explained why i don't do some homework. And teachers do affect a students performance in their class. Granted, not all of it is other peoples fault, Ex. the homework thing, but i gave my reasoning on that, and i will be damned if ti doesn't make sense, or at least more sense then any logic they are pushing on me.

I only get 2 days break from all the crap people (teachers) poo into my backpack. From my point of view, that isn't enough, especially when it is legal to give homework over those 2 days. Sunday (the day of rest according to god, and all you 'Christians' say) is devoted to the mountain of fecal matter that is Oh-So sloppily put there by my teachers. And while i am wading through this bible-esque flood of stool, i keep asking where the second day of the weekend went. Then i remember, it is at the bottom of this ocean-o-crap, just like the unicorns and dragons who didn't quite make it on the arc.

I need 6 more word till 400.

Accomplished, New post time.

Why I Do Bad In School- Part 2

2009-01-28T15:51:00.005-06:00

Read my other 'Why I Do Bad In School' post before this one.

And Blogs are awesome and all, but think about this. You give us an average of 3 essays a week. Each of which you want us to read twice (So we can understand the deep metaphysical-ness of it all obviously), and then write a page about what we thought as we read it. That's 3 pages. Then every week of the term, we are supposed to either write, or rewrite, a 3-4 page (typed) paper. And as far as your description of rewrite goes, it sounds like you want a new essay each time, or at least for use to write enough the first time we end up with half as many words in the final draft as we had in the first draft. That is a separate paragraph. But you have us doing all this, and then we have all our other classes on top of that. Toss in some extra curricular activities and you have quite the load. Realistically, how much free time do you think i should end up with? Is your goal none? Because with this schedule, i wouldn't doubt it.

I like wirteing the essays. They give me just enough guidance on what to write. But, you seem to think i shouldn't like my writting the first time through. I can see you frowning, cocking your head, and saying in that sincerely quizical tone only you seem to be able to produce, 'Why is that, Spencer?' (Iadded that comma before my name because that is correct and you would've put it there). I say htat because you want me to revise it. Granted, my writting does need editting. But i don't think it needs to be revised on content. I didn't write it the first time so that someone could just deem it unnescessary and cross it out without thinking about the effort and time that i actually put into it. Anything i wrote the first time that fit into that category would be removed before i show it to you or anyone else. And if through finding gramatical, spelling, and punctuation error, i find i don't like a paragraph, i will change or remove it. But mandateing me to edit my paper for a grade goes against what writting is at its core. Expression. Communication. Personal. All three of these things are things that i feel writting is meant to be (at least the writting these past essays have been), and if it isn't, something is wrong.

I hit 400 wordes again, so...ANOTHER POST.....HHHHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Why I Do Bad In School-Part 1

2009-01-28T15:07:00.006-06:00

I am getting a D- in the class this blog is for.
Guess what this means for me? Hell
My parents aren't nice about things like grades.
if i have a B, they criticize me, and try to force me to 'Try and work harder toward that B+ or A because you are only a few points from that better GPA.'
This is all well and good. Why shouldn't i get that A if i am but a few percentile from that A?
Their logic for me to try harder is 'Colleges look at your GPA, and that B- is bringing it down.'
Alright, whatever, why not. I guess that's cool. I don't want to be one of the rats in the cesspool, turning homosexual due to over population of males. I want to be the rat with the harem of females, and my own fourth of the available living area.
What they ask me is always the same thing. 'Why don't you try harder? You are so smart Spencer, a little more effort is all you need.'
The thing is it isn't the class work that gets me, and it isn't the tests. It is the homework. Ever since 3rd grade i have been receiving homework, and ever since that first assignment to fill in the blanks with words from a word bank, the question of 'Why am i doing this? I know all this. Why should i be subjected to this? Is this necessary?' have been gaining more and more force, and influence, over my schooling.
Have i told my parents this? More or less. I told them i don't see why i do it, and that it is busy work. Their uninformed, hypocritical, christian-like answer was, 'Because your teachers assign it.'

There are multiple reasons i reject this logic. I refuse to follow that because it has no backing. Why do teachers get to affect me in my house? In my house. Not their house. Do i get to send work home with them? Well, i don't get to choose what, and if they didn't assign homework i would bet you a teachers year salary that they would be able to get grading done in class. The Most important reason i don't believe that logic is that they have never, and when i say never, i mean, not in ever. i am not using it as a figure of speech. They have never used the 'Because we say so' logic on anything. Ever since i was old enough to put together words i have been asking 'Why?'

When my mom and dad were trying to get me to speak for the first time, they said 'Spencer, Say Dah-Dah, say Mah-Mah' and i said to them, 'Why?'

That is a lie, but you get my point. Why should i do something you can't even give me a reasonable, logical, explanation to do?

Teachers, don't you tell me the reason homework is around is for kids to learn. That is what you are there for, to teach. If i can learn from homework, why are you sucking up my taxes? That could go towards someone who isn't doing a job that could be replaced by a pencil, a textbook, and paper.

And if you think kids need these easy homework assignments to cushion the blow of a tough test, prepare your students better, make the test easier, spend more time on it, just give everyone the answers for the assignment and call it done. There are other options then giving me useless assignments and actually assuming i will actually do them.

Now, Mr.Ayers. I haven''t addressed you in quite some time, because the last series of post i threw in your direction, you took as being malicious. This next section is directed at you, and i want you to know, anything i say may sound like i am angry, or trying to be mean. I am angry, but it isn't at you, it is at your class. And the mean thing is for emphasis, and because all 3 readers who frequent this blog expect me to be angry.

Mr.Ayers (read the above),
Why do i have to write about random essays we read? I will read it. I do read it. I am fine with that. But Why-O-Why do i have to write about it? That kills me. Sitting down to write about a piece of writing makes me gouge my eye balls out. I read it, and i am able to discuss. Isn't that enough?

Is this 400 words yet? cause if it is it will be continued i another post. Immediately. As in right now.

Concussion

2009-01-22T07:04:00.002-06:00

I received a concussion. It is embarrassing. Not the fact i received a concussion, but what i got it doing. If i gave a whatsit about my reputation on the internet i wouldn't tell you the true story. i would tell you something like, I was playing tackle football without pads against the Oakland Raiders...by my self...against all of them. Or that i was being a human bowling ball, and i was busting through a diamond wall 5 feet thick. i would elaborate and say i got 4 feet through then hit a mental wall, and a literal one. but in actuality, it isn't so manly....it is more mimely....

So I am on speech team. but we don't do speeches. we act. crappy name. off topic. i am on speech team, and more specifically i am a mime for speech team. i came in on Saturday to practice my routine. part of my routine is i lift a dumb-bell up over my head. I am a weakling (in this mime and in real life) so part of my act is to pretend this dumb-bell is really really difficult to lift. To show this i turn my face red. To do this i break rule number one of weight lifting. don't hold your breath. so once i finish getting the dumb-bell up over my head i let out a large sigh of relief and take huge breaths. Unfortunately, i deprived my brain of oxygen while turning my face red, and the big breaths gave it too much, so, i pass out. I go from standing perpendicular to the floor to being parallel to it. I was like a hinge with the floor, falling flat on my back, the brunt of the impact being accepted by my cranium. The next six hours are spent in a flurry of commotion. My mime coach called an ambulance and my parents. I wa taken to teh hospital, wher iwas given an EKG and a CT, to make sure my noggin didn't have any screws loose. I am taken home, and i am put to bd where i sleep. I wake up at 8:45 and i haven't a clue what has happened. All i know is that i am bleeding from the head, and i am in alot of pain. My dad informs me of my curent situation, and then goes on to ask me a series of questions to see if i am back to myself. Whats the year? What grade are you in? What school do you go to? I ace the test and we have decided that i am myself, so i am ale to go back to sleep.

it turns out that i had gotten those questions wrong previously. Awesome. My head still hurts.

Blarg Honk and Marklar

2009-01-08T07:12:00.006-06:00

I wonder why when we put aliens in movies they are either super intelligent, or are incredibly stupid. Two examples are the movies 'Evolution', and 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'. In evolution the aliens are stupid, and begin as micro organisms. Then they evolve into primates and thats when they have some intelligence. but they only have enough intelligence to use tools and break cameras. I suppose, left uninhibited they would've evolved further into something that could join the UN, but unfortunately, our natural tendencies as humans decided we should napalm them, and of course, our lack of understanding led to an evolutionary monstrosity that would've destroyed the world if it wasn't for head and shoulders...yeah now that i think about it, that movie is ridiculous.

then there is the more/less recent movie, depending on your world view. The day the earth stood still has an alien life form that are so far advanced compared to us that they are able to change their apperance when they enter our planet so that they are readily adapted for our environment. They are so advanced they have nanobots that take shape and work together to be a monolithic behemoth. they are able to use electronics ase an extension to their body, like when Klaatu uses the camera to see where the guards are, and when he takes control of a helicopter because they have him locked on by a laser.

What i want to see more of is the average alien. The alien who is no more intelligent then you and I. I guess what i want is something like E.T. but even then he is too stupid and i get the feeling he is the mentally challeneged step brother of a more intelligent alien on a planet far far away and he was sent here so he could stop being a nuisance. What i really want is the red vs blue alien. He sounds stupid. Mental. All he can say is Blarg and Honk. of course with different emphasis you get the jist of what he is saying, and he is just fun to watch. But that isn't important. He sounds stupid. and we assume he is stupid because thats how he sounds, and this is all we have to base our impression of him on. but in reality, he is an average guy. Sure, he has mandibles, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to kick back open a brewsky and watch the game.

I really like the aliens from Marklar. They just make me happy on the inside.

Caffeine and Hatred.

2008-12-29T03:18:00.007-06:00

This post is brought to you by caffine and hatred. The only thing more motivateing then that combination is the energy drink Redline, which as far as i can tell, is a creation of a combination of heart failure and potent levels of caffine. People are stupid. For a while i thought it was just some people, maybe some people who were inbred and enjoyedeating teh paint chips off of houses built in the 40's, but i am now convinced that everyone is stupid. O yes, even you my cherished readers, all 3 of you. This even applies to myself. Would you like to know why I have come to this realisation? It is a combination fo personal experiences and self searching. I will start with personal experiences. I have seen a couple of movies over this christmas break, o god, sorry, winter break, the fact it occurs over a christian holiday is just coincidence....i hate everyone who insists on being Politically Correct, and everyone who is religious for that matter. Back to point. I saw the day the earth stood still. The idea behind it is that the alein is going to earase all humans, and all traces of humans from earth in order to save the earth from humans destroying its ability to support life. But as expected, the alien sees the humans better nature and decides to give them a seond chance. SPOILER ALERT. was that a bit late? Too bad, if you didn't see it coming you are as dense as a black hole. The entire time, when the alien was interacting with the humans all i could think was, "Don't you dare change your mind you super intelligent alien, you change your mind, and i will lose faith in humanity." And i did. ilost faith in humanity. But thats been coming for quite some time. Think about it, we are so stupid, that we can even allow our civilization to be destroyed by something bigger then ourselves. What is stupider is that the entire reason the alein allowed us to live was because he believed we could change. Human history shows a constant pattern of war, destruction, and evil. why would we change then? We wouldn't. And iam convinced that aleins should destroy humans.

So, my original post has been sensored by the parents, because they think it is too personal, so, here goes some deflated hatred

i hate bananas. no i don't, i am really running out of steam now, i feel a bit like i a mgoing to pass out now. I can't believe my parents woke up to censor my writting, good thing i saved it in a word document. I worked on that for like 2 hours. I didn't write it to be mean to them or to make them embaraseed, although i think if my mom can do what she is doing, i think she should be able to show the whole world what she has done. BAH, thats what i say BAH. Adult logic makes about as much sense as micky mouse beheading porky the pig and then cooking porky on a spit, throwing a luau and then bugs bunny showing up in his attractive female outfit and doing the hula around porkys roasting body. You got that visual? Do you see the gore as much as i do? because if you don't then i am way too tired and i might jsut fall asleep on the key board.

i think i am getting carpel tunnel from typeing for so long, and it isn't even about anything. I just wrote that sentence without looking. It only took me 5 minuets. I never wanna grow up. Being an adult suck big flopppy donkey dong, Sorry Mr.Ayers, i was censored earlier today and i am not going to let that go, plus i am too tired to care what you think. Being an adult has to suck, you have responsibilities, you have a job, you have bills, you have to deal with co-workers. The idea of me as an adult is laughable right now. i am not ready for that kinda of responsibility. or any responsibility for that matter. I have 15 minuets more to write before my mom will kick me off the computer, but i don't care, i don't respect her half as much as i used to. I hope she reads that, i want her ot know that, but i want her to figure it our herself.

wanna know why humanity sucks? Because of adult responsibilities. Why oh why did we switch from hunter/gatherer to agricultural? Agriculture is far more work. And it led to modern society. Yeah survival rate was lower diring earlier humans, so what? I think we deserve that, we are no more then animals after all. What makes us special? the fact we have brains tha size of mellons? The fact we obtain pleasure from our act of intercourse?

RIDDLE TIME KIDS
If you get this riddle right i will do nothing, but you will get the satisfaction of getting the riddle right.
There are three species that have sex for pleasure, humans are one, what are the other 2?

i think ima stop with this post rrrriiiiiiigggghhhhhttttttt....NOW!

The Antagonist and The Protagonist Part 1

2008-12-29T01:07:00.005-06:00

Okay, so, this isn't a story of a girl, but i think ima write a story for all of your enjoyment. I think Mr.Ayers wants me to actually write about thinkgs, but i am inspired to write a story. So, Mr.Ayers, if this isn't what you want, too bad, its my blog and i'll write what i want to, write what i want to, write what i want to.

This story starts in the same way many of your stories began. At birth. As our antagonist was born, screaming and kicking as he was thrusted out of his mothers’ womb, Father heated the brand. Before the doctor was able to cut the umbilical cord, and clean the new-born of the birthing gore, Father held the red hot brand to the babies’ bare rear. The Brand was only about 2 and 1/2 inches in diameter, but left a good part of the boys bum scarred and mutilated. The brand consisted of a Capital A with a capital T going strait through the middle of it, so the top of the A was where the 2 parts of the T met. Our Antagonist was born into a family of super villains, who were known for their ability to avoid arrest and were also know for not really having that many super powers. More specifically, none at all. But our antagonist changed all that, for he was the first to be born with any power. He had the power of teleportation and time control. This caused an unfortunate event when Father branded him. Because our new born antagonist was in pain he teleported from where he was in the doctors arms, to the soft looking crib in the corner. This caused his mother to tag along because they were connected through the umbilical cord, resulting in a nasty concussion for her.

Moments earlier, a protagonist was born. I say ‘a’ protagonist for 2 reasons. Firstly, he isn't a protagonist in the normal sense of the word. Secondly, he is just an average joe, he doesn’t become a super hero, or someone you read about in the papers. He was born into a couple who had been married for 3 years, he was the first child for this family, and he had been conceived on purpose. This is important only because the father and the mother hadn't used birth control the entire time they had been in a relationship. This is a statistical anomaly and both the mother and the father didn't question it. This anomaly was especially unusual because they had been going at it like bunnies ever since they were 17, 6 years ago. Unknown to them, the father had a super power that he wasn't aware of. It was the ability to be very, very lucky. Even luckier for them was that the protagonist had inherited this ability, for just as his head was cresting from his mothers womb, a nurse tripped carrying a tray of scalpels, sending 30 surgical steel knifes flying toward the mother and her open newly born child. Some how, the tray they were laying on flew just right and deflected or stopped each and every one, harming no one but the mosquito that was about to transfer malaria to the protagonist.

I hope you enjoyed this segment of my story. I know there are spelling errors, but my editor will take care of them once i get published....wait, i actually took the time to correct the mistakes. Hoo-Ray.

I stumbled upon this little gem, just for you. not anyone else.

2008-12-20T09:59:00.005-06:00

I just really enjoyed watching this. I twas fun watvhing his hair grow, and watching him go from teenager to adult. He kinda went through a phas where he looked homeless however. Well homeless or like captain hook from the live action peter pan movie. I can't decide. But eitehr way when he was in that phase i wouldn't have wanted my kids around him. I don't have kids, so i guess that wouldn't have been a problem. The angain, my parents wouldn't have wanted me around him, so i guess it is still a bit of a problem.

By the way, i appreciate you reading this, and i say that to all 3 of you. And i mean it more sincerely to the 2 of you who arn't paid to do so.

Mmmmmm... Thats the Stuff.

2008-12-18T15:16:00.005-06:00

So, my parents caught wind my blog is a bit negetive, and i wonder how that happened *cough* Mr.Ayers *cough*

But here is the full story as to why my tone will suddenly change. My father walks into the room where i am pleasantly writting my blog post about...well i'm not sure, probably my one on how society in general is messed up. But he asks me what i am doing, and i replay "I am blogging". He respods by saying, "are you being more positive about Mr.Ayers and his class?". The first hting i thought was, "You know about that?", but i said "Yeah, about Mr.Ayers at least." The he gives me a 5 minute pep talk on why i shouldn't write negetively all the time. He finishes it off with, "Because spencer, it worries me abit, it really does." Awesome, super, teh one place i thought i could say what i wanted to, i am now being asked to write in a way that is how i am in person normally. The only reason this bothers me is that i am not aloud to be negetive, hateful, angry, opinionated, and just a regular jerk in person and the internet is a place where jerks flourish, assholes breed (Check out eharmony.com), and anger is accepted. I guess i use this blog as a vent.

But i digress.....for the time being...

Happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts...OKAY i got one. I really enjoy pumpkin pie. The taste, the smell. What it represents to me and my family. What it means to me is that everything is going to be alright, and i guess that is something that is important to me right now.

I also love me some videogames. They are ahppy devices that are an escape from teh everyday where you can be whatever i want to be. Whether i want to be a hummingbird, a dinosaur chaseing a doritos truck, or just a regular joe. No matter what it is, you can probly find a game where you can be it. And honestly, as a kid, videogames are almost the only escape available to us. Where adults have the comfot of knowing they could pick up and leave any time they want, we kids don't. i know it is unlikely that any adult would uproot their lives on a whim, but they could if they wanted to. In a world where the magority of our time is scheduled by others, and it is controoled what we do, it is nice to have a place to go to shoot some communists or just pop a few heads off like zits.

I also like school. Mr.Ayers is scoffing at this, because of the amount of time i spend complaining about it, but it is true, i like school. But there is a catch. I like the premise of school morew then the actual schooling. The idea that knowledge is passed from generation to generation in a public setting in an organised fashion for free is beautiful. Simply brilliant. However, with all these good things come a few bad. Homework, boring teachers, boring subjects, all combine daily to become something we dread experienceing. Learning should be a fun experience. Less work, more fun. That is what I say. Isn't that how life is meant to be anyway.

I suppose it is only appropriate to finish this with life. I love life. It is a prescious comodity, hard to come by, and worth more then you could imagine. I htink anyone who comits suicide is stupid and has done the human race a favor by removing themselves from the gene pool. Anyone who thinks life can just be thrown away or isn't worth liveing because of some petty incident, kinda deserves it. I thought long and hard about it once and decided a motto for suicide. "Long term solution to a short term problem"

Just Keep Drinking th Kool-Aid

2008-12-16T15:07:00.009-06:00

Religion and why it is 'Waco'.

The title of this post and the second line are the title and sub-title of a book. Well, if it isn't it sure should be. Religion is the most ridiculous thing a person can believe in. It turns normally rational people into irrational babbling morons. Before i begin, i'd like to say that i am not against any religion in particular. it may seem like i am targetting christianity. I am not. I am just better versed in Chirstian belief, because of my up bringing. If i was raised in a Islamic household, and i had the same views i had today, but i would use Islam as my example.

Alright, now that the disclaimer is out of the way, i'd like to start off by pointing out what religion does to normal people. a normal person wakes up in the morning, and reads the paper. He goes to work and he does what his boss asks of him, and then he goes home. Then, once a week, he goes to a building and praises a person (or 'being', as that may be more correct) who they give the credit to for all the things they accomplish. Lets say this normal person is a judge in a court of law. What does he do in a case where a person is accused of a crime but no evidence can be brought forth to suggest that he commited the said crime, and the suspect has a ligitimate alibi? Does he close his eyes, think real hard, then punish the defendant because he believes he commited the crime? No, he dismisses the case and moves on. There wasn't any proof, in fact, there was proof he wasn't anywhere near the scene of the crime. But this same judge will worship a god without question, without need of proof. God is the biggest scam in the history of human kind. Scratch that. God is the biggest scam of all time. All 6000 years of it.

O man, who all caught that? well, good for you. 10 points to Gryffindor.

Religion is also to blame for our setbacks in the feild of science....but before i get started on that, i have something to say about science and religion. You can't be a god person and a science person. They are opposites. Science is based on proof, on tests that either prove or disprove what teh scientist thought was true. Religion on the otehr hand, asks the opposite. Those who follow a religion, well, religiously, need no proof, only faith. That is exactly my problem with religion. Give me something tangible, make your God come down, slap me in the face repeatedly untill i believe he exsists.

O right, back to science. Think about the dark ages in Europe. That completely ruined all teh advancement the romans made. i even found a pretty little graph.

So, all you religious people out there. I don't think i should need to prove to you that your God doesn't exsist. Your religion didn't need to, why should I?

Well, I guess i might as well group the religion rant in with my cult rant.

What distinguishes a religion from a cult? What gives us the right to call any person insane for haveing different beliefs. There is a Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What makes their beliefs any more ridiculous then yours? What makes the Jonestowns peoples beliefs more ridiculous then yours? What makes scientology more ridiculous (besides Tom Cruise). All i am saying is that you and your religion arn't any less crazy then Tom cruise and his love for Katie Holmes.

Sex, Racism, and Disney

2008-12-14T15:57:00.007-06:00

I know the title made many laugh, made less confused and less then that understood my true meaning. Alot of people know about the hidden messages in Disney movies. I would say a bit more then half my readers (so about 2 of you), have seen at least one. All of you have seen at least one and didn't realise it. here are a couple clips for you.

The first is The Lion King. Innocent animal movie? Or haneous Sex deviants corrupting your children?

yeah i know, terrible right?

there are many others, but i don't feel like showing you, so look them up yourself...Jerk...

i lied again here is a picture of 'The Little Mermaid'...Or perhaps better named 'The Big Mer-Whore'

this is a neat picture. Would you like to know why? Because it says penis.

In all seriousness though. Some people think it is a big deal. That a super powerful company is brainwashing our young. Other people think it is just conincidence, that people are seeing what they want to see, that the general public is perverted and wants it to be there. i am somewhere in the middle. I think it is there, in fact, i know it is there, but i don't care. Why should I? it is like some one getting angry at the golden compass movie for haveing atheist undertones. to those people i say, Bah-Humbug ('O goodness, a scrooge reference, he really is in the holiday spirit' says the mother in a minnesota accent). Do you really think kids see those sort of things? That when they see a movie they see the undertones, or the secret messages (there is one exception however, the supposed 'SEX' in the dust in lion king was seen in one of the first showings of The Lion King)? I have a decent example.

Many a year ago i watched 'Good Burger'. Those were the days when Kenan and Kel ruled Nickelodeon. Those many years ago i loved that movie, it was funny, it had good characters, and the story line was great. I had the chance to watch it again this past weekend. It was just as good, maybe even better because of all the little things i noticed. I noticed the entire sequence they were in the insane asylum was a play off of 'One Flew Over the Kukoos Nest' (thank you Lars) and that the crazy guy who did the singing and started all the danceing? George Clinton. Thats right, George Clinton. Did i know who he was? No, course not, i was like 8. Okay, so, back to what i noticed. I also noticed there were quite a few black jokes. and they said hell and ass, each one time. I also noticed the shadow of the bad guys head doesn't move when he is walking around his office and he orders, 'Make our burgers bigger'. But that is beside the point. What i am saying is that as a kid you could shove anything down my throat, and i wouldn't notice. I wouldn't nesscessarily care or accept it.

So, Parents, Please, stop freaking out, your kids are alright. Mommy isn't alright, Daddy isn't alright, and they both seem really weird.

that last sentence actually sounds like another post...

but, back to the title at hand. All the disney fanatics are freaking out. 'Uhm excuse me sir,' they say in a pleasant southern female drawl, 'but the only thing that tells me to be raceist is the bible, now you've gone too far attacking my favorite bigot, Walt Disney.'

Oooooo yeah baby, i just insulted almost everyone i could in a single sentence. Well anyway, for those of you who didn't know, Walt Disney hated Jews. And for those who yell foul at that last sentence, Jews is a term used to describe a group of people who follow the same religion. But that isn't the only raceist part. Look at 'Aladdin', Aladdin was the good guy, with a good American accent, and (relatively) lighter skin. Jasmine, our female protagonist (and my favorite Disney princess), also had a good American accent, and (relatively) lighter skin. Now Jafar, what a bad dude, right? He had a middle eastern accent, and then on top of that he had darker skin.

This i think might actually affect our kids. We learn our enemies and our hatred at a young age. Thank you Walt Disney, for helping me complete this assignment.

One Day Your Life Will Flash Before Your Eyes, Make Sure it is Worth Watching

2008-12-10T07:05:00.006-06:00

I think society is doing something wrong. Look at what my life will become once i am out of high school. I will go to college for 4 years and then i will get a job. And i will do that job, day in and day out for 40 years, and then i will live for 10 years trying to try and remember my pills. Anything sound wrong in that to you? it certainly does to me. but what can i do? here are my options as i see them.

i can lay down and take it like the effeminate cell mate, and just shudder and cry my self to sleep at night while some big bruiser spoons me. Yes this course of action is basically doing exactly as everyone wants me to do, and yes, i realise that i will just be drinking the kool-aid with the rest of you zombies, but this is the easiest course of action, and the most likely. If it wasn't the most likely, I wouldn't have a society to complain about.

My second option is do something extreme. I could move to a third world country, use the money i saved from my childhood, and live a relatively comfortable life for the money i would pay. Because their currency would be worth nothing, the meager amounts i have saved up would strech me a life time. and if the money did run dry, i could always take up a part job picking coffee beans or tending the poppy plants for the local drug lord. But no matter the variation of the story, it follows the same plot. I leave western society, and i go and live in a society the opposite from my own, where you are considered to have high aspirations if you hope to own your own grass hut one day.

My third option is basically the middle, and i seem to be favoing this one. I go to college for something. take sometime off, just travel the world. Work for a multi-national company, and take any job offers that allow me to leave the country in favor of another place. There are multiple variations to this story as well, and one of them is what i would like to call the 'Fight Club' approach. While working for this company i plauge it from the inside (via computer virus), make it completely untraceable, and ruin everthing for them. with my credentuals, another powerful company will hire me, and i will do the same to them. This path is all fantasy for the most part, but i wish it weren't.

The real Third option starts out much the same. Play by the systems rules for awhile, then dissassociate myself from it. Spend mytime traveling, liveing life the way it was meant to be. Haveing fun. If that isn't the point of life, i don't know what is. I look at the people, liveing in their suburbs, paying their morgages, doing the same boring job for years at a time (With 2 whole weeks paid vacation!!), and i can't help but think, 'Am i the only sane human being in the world? Am i the only person who sees this is complete insanity?'. Thats when the horrifying truth hits me square in the face. I'm not the only one who see's this, i am just the only one who cares.

"The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well"

2008-12-03T07:25:00.003-06:00

Normality is a concept i have struggled with for quite some time. 'They' want you to be normal, 'they' are normal, you should want to be accepted by 'them'. but who are they? i know many people quite well, and i know more people in a less personal way. I am a socializer, when i go somewhere i meet people and then form some sort of loose relationship. every person that i know is not normal, never has been normal, and is certainly not striving to be normal. what is normal besides a lack of originality and excitement? Why would anyone want to be that?

Alright, i do see what is appealing. society offers the illusion that being part of the majority means you are in the right. Think about it. We live in a wikireality. what ever the majority of the population believes is considered fact. The appeal to be something that just blends in with everyone else is astounding, and in actuality just really disgusting.

I can understand the appeal but it sickens me like like seeing your mother naked (Oh Snap!). Becomeing part of that majority is like eating Lays potato chips and becoming a heroine addict. Its like the Lays because, no matter how hard you try you can't eat just one. By that i mean, you may say, 'just this once i will compromise my personal beliefs and mt own convictions so that they will accept me' but you can't do it just once. That is where the heroine addict part comes in. Once you know what it feels like to be part of that majority, you'll do anything to stay part of it, turning you into a slave of the machine.

What is worse is when you strive and strive to become part of that maority, become part of the norm, and then it doesn't accept you. This happened to me alot before i stopped careing (that happened in 8th grade, if you'd like to know). It hurt so much because you thought everyone was part of it, except you.

I am tired of writting about this. Join us again, different Bat time, same Bat place.

What a Crazy Random Happenstance

2008-11-13T07:25:00.003-06:00

Ok, so i know my endorsment means nothing to the three people who read this, but i think i am going to any way. Dr.Horrible's Sing Along Blog is great, hilarious, and just over all amazing. Dr.Horrible's Sing Along Blog is a short musical divided into 3 parts, each being about 15 minutes long.

There are 3 main characters. Dr.Horrible (Neil Patrick Harris) is the main character. He seems like a normal guy who is trying to achieve things that are much larger then him.

The plot follows Dr.Horrible and his quest to be part of the Evil League of Evil, and his attempts to court the gril of his dreams, Penny (Felicia Day). Unfortunately, Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion) does all he can to stop both of those things from happening. The whole thing is one of the funniest and most professionally done thing i have ever seen on the internet.

Because the cast is so small, you feel as if you get to know the main characters intimately. It is one of the only videos that actually made me feel emotions for the main characters. And this is coming from the stone cold, heartless jerk who doesn't even flinch when the main animal character of a movie dies. The goody two shoes who watch it will feel torn between rooting for Dr.Horrible who is over all nice, just very very evil, and rooting for Captian Hammer, who is the super hero, but is self centered and mean.

The songs in this video are priceless as well. They are very musical-esque, with a duet here and there to express emotion of characters, a solo somewhere in there, and a montage to wrap it up, but if you just looked at the words, you would know that this isn't any normal musical. The songs are pretty catchy too. Days later i found myself singing the songs that were in it.

The quality is just superb as well. It looks as if it is an actual television show. It was actually startleing when i first started watching. As a person who spend the majority of my free time trying to find the next viral video befor my friends, seeing actual production value was a shock. i might even watch this if you need a break from the never ending pile of crap that is the internet

If you have 42 minutes to kill, i would highly recomend this muscial.

F.I.N.A.L.S

2008-11-09T21:48:00.005-06:00

I took finals right before thanksgiving break. they weren't fun. the only reason i liked them was that i only had one final on Friday, so i got to stay home till 10:30.

i really am not in the mood to insult, critique, bash, or just generally hate anything today. If you saw me yesterday, i would've gladly ripped a new one to anything that walked by me, but not now. i am not really all that happy, and i have a hard time believing that anyone is. this isn't my normal self, but nothing is really normal, now is it? i think i will write about that right now in a different post.

School Sucks, I Know

2008-11-09T19:32:00.007-06:00

I am in a pessimistic mood, and I am going to blame it on the one thing that makes my life less fun then life is meant to be. School. All parents hate when children complain about school. To those parents I say, "Shut your god forsaken mouths" (school sensors keeping me from using stronger terms). You don't understand. I do, no, we do the same thing everyday, all day. And the moment we are let off, we are expected to be in activities. Because we will never compete in today’s international job market if we don't join the FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). And once we are done padding our college resumes, we are loaded with homework. Not just homework, but busy work. Homework that doesn't make us learn just makes us work for the sake of killing trees and torturing kids.

This is off topic, but I’d like to say this. If I get asked if I play sports one more time and I say no, and I get that, "You don't play sports?" look that is both inquisitive and insulting at the same time, I will literally, and I mean literally, tell them to go....well I can't really say that now can I? Isn't censorship fun kids? I get rights that people all around the world don't have and I can't say a select few words because they are 'inappropriate'? The founding fathers would start another rebellion if they could see us today. But that is another post.

This next part is directed at high school teachers and high school teachers only. If you're not a high school teacher, read this and laugh, if you are a high school teacher, think long and hard about the words I am going to say. You are but one of 6 or 7 other teachers that your students have through out the day. That means you’re not important. You are but part of a routine that begins at the 7:00 in the morning, and ends 2:45 in the after noon. Your part of that routine, is both baby sitter and educator. Few teachers have the ability to do both effectively. Even fewer are able to do both while making it interesting. If you think you are doing a good job at baby sitting and educating AND making it interesting, you probably aren’t, but there is a way to tell. here is a way to tell. Go to your spread sheet of grades and attendance. Go to your grades. What does it look like? Are the average grades of the students in the A or B range? Then well done. Now look at how many of the grades in your book are Labeled as 'homework', or 'take home test'. Anymore then 2 at the end of the term and you fail.Dear Teachers, You get an hour a day for 180 days of a year. Be happy you get this. Homework is one of the only things that has every made me consider suicide. It is pointless, unrealistic, and is hypocritical. What teacher as a kid said, "I really like homework and I will become a teacher in order to allow others to enjoy this." The only subject that has an excuse to give homework is math because that actually takes practice. And if you give homework, and expect your students to do it, grade it. You will look like a lazy stupid butt (Hoo-Rah Censorship) if you don't grade everything.

And I do say that school sucks because of teachers. Without teachers school would just be a place for kids to hang out with friends all day, and that sounds like paradise. Teachers are the cause of all the pain and suffering in a teenager’s life. And I sincerely believe that.

Game Review: Fable II

2008-10-23T07:35:00.011-05:00

I am supposed to keep a few specific topics for you 3 people who read this to give you people an idea of what to expect from me. So here is the first topic type post you will see. The first topic is gaming. this will be reoccuring. Yes my scathing social commentary will continue, but this is required by my teacher, so bear with me folks.

Fable II is an RPG with many in depth features that haven't been shown in other RPG's before it. Examples of this are physical apperance affected by actions, a fluid market, affected by your actions, an ability to buy every peice of real estate you can see, you can get married, have kids, and kill things. Oh and did I mention there is a story line in there somewhere?

There are three main ways of dispatching you enemies. Your ranged weapon, melee, and 'will', a sort of magic. By killing your enemies, you recieve experience, and you recieve bonus experience for how you kill them, and how fashionable you kill them. This experience isn't used in the normal leveling up system. You get to spend your experience on things to make the abilities you use, like magic, more skillful and more powerful. This may not be completely unique, but the colection system is just fun to watch. During a fight, you will be hitting people, and orbs of color fly from the bodies and a burst of them flys through them when they are finally finished off. once you're done with that fight, you hold the right trigger and all these colored orbs go flying toward, exploding when they hit your body as an experience counter appears on your screen.

The combat isn't teh only fun thing in the game either. You can buy all the property in teh game. Literally, every building you can walk up to and enter, you can buy. Peter Molyneux said that it would take 10 million gold to buy all the property in the game (Correct me if i am wrong. I am saying this from memory). All teh non-followers of this game are scratching their heads saying, "Peter Moly-who?" Well he is the head of Lionhead games, and credited with the creation of the 'god game' genre. He is a legend in his own rights. Back to the game though. When buying the property, you can raise or lower the rent or the prices. These actions will come with a consequence.

The whole objective behind the game is to become whoever you want to be. Good or evil, corrupt or pure, fat or skinny, rich or poor. Who ever you want to be.

One thing RPG players may notice is that there is no armour. Some clothes will offer benefits to make yuou more good, evil, corrupt, or pure, but they will offer no support in your ability to take damage. At first you may say this is stupid, question the point of money, and then curse the gods for the day Peter molyneux was born, but it is actuallly kind of refreshing. I could stop doing math in my head about wether this shirt offered more protection then this shirt, and if i got more mana from these gloves then from those gloves. It became all about apperance, which also help you solidify the point of the game; making the character what you want him to be.

The magic system in this game is also different. There is no mana. Another gasp comes from the stunned masses, followed by a cry of joy. My reaction exactly. But it isn't as glorious as it sounds. There are something like 7 spells. They come in 5 strengths. The lowest strength is okay at first but is almost useless later in the game are but a button tap away. the higher level spells take more time to charge. This is alot like DK's punch in Smash Bros. but you can't walk around with it. It is really powerful if you let it charge long enough, but you can't move. once you get to higher levels of certain spells *cough*fire*cough* you can take out entire rooms of enemys when fully charged.

Please don't read this and say, "Oh, how original, a blog about videogames, that hasn't been done before...except it has...by every reclusive nerd in the western hemisphere." That isn't the case here. i write about this because it is required i choose a topic, and videogames are the only thing i could think about writting about on a tri-weekly manner.

Now excuse me, i am going to go find someone to hangout with before the life of seclusion and obesity of a videogame blogger sets in.

I am Jack's Complete Lack Of Surprise

2008-10-13T21:40:00.011-05:00

People are stupid. Don't believe me? Here are a few examples of why people are so profoundly stupid.

New Orleans

Bush was voted into a second term

This guy

And i am not just picking the stupidest of the stupid. everywhere you go you see moron after moron walking around with their belly button out talking about their last hunting excursion. Yes I realize I am stereotyping, and no I don't feel bad. If they weren't stupid they wouldn't be inbred. Oops, what i meant to say is that they would find a better past time then beating their wifes and drinking gallons of low quality beer if they were intelligent. Oh god sorry i did it again. What i keep trying to say is that if they were intelligent they would realize i am not actually sorry and i am actually insulting them.

I got off on a tangant again, sorry 3 readers, i will try and stay focused more. But back to stupid people.

The scariest part of this is that it seems humanity has hit its peak. Someday we may be like teh movie idiocracy, and for very specific reasons. You want to know the reasons? And you never heard of idiocracy? Well then I shall enlighten you

People are stupid. More specifically, teachers are stupid. Thats right, all followers of this blog gasp in astonishment, i just said teachers are stupid on a blog that is graded for a class. Wanna know why? Because each teacher thinks their class is the most important, most complicated, and deserves teh most time. This isn't true. Here is a message to all teachers. You're all just as unimportant as the next. Give homework, assign projects, but don't do more then one at a time. And if you're going to assign anything don't make me write 3 drafts and THEN tell me i have to highlight all teh changes (I know this is your way of not having to actually haveing to read our work, god forbid, and looking for yourself for the changes, but what ever)

Know who else is stupid? Boys. All boys, myself included. I thought about ranting about this one also, but honestly, i don't care enough about boy stupidity and, quite frankly, is self explanitory.

girls are stupid too, don't get me wrong, just not in the same way. Once again, i am not going to emphasize because a wise man once said, "Do not insult half the population, especially the smarter half."

I wrote the part about the teachers because i honestly believe that who i am directing it at won't read it, and if he does, i don't care, it is the truth.

Flying is Throwing Yourself at the Ground and Missing

2008-10-09T07:49:00.005-05:00

Failure is something that everyone encounters. It isn't only common, it is more important then success in many cases. This is because failure will happen more often, and unintended things tend to be the most wonderful (me for example). Then again, while I am writing this, I realise how pathetic that sounds, or perhaps, how self preserving it is. It sounds like something parents say to their children. "Oh, Honey, you came in last place, but your still amazing." "Goodness, Sweetie-Pumpkin, your failing all your classes? Well you'll just get to live with mommy and daddy for ever but you're just as special as the child who skipped 3 grades." Yes, I know how terrible i sound saying that, but it is partially true. Failure is success in a different form, and can often times be good, but it shouldn't be celebrated as much as a true success. What I mean to say is that, the message i am trying to send should be carefully interpreted. Celebrate and reward success, but don't punish and demean failure.

Here is the perfect example. A soccer tournament is taking place and their are 8 teams. A team of five year olds are playing, and they lose...terribly...to everyone. Now, these kids didn't try to lose. They tried very hard, and at the end of their games they are more tired and dirty then all the winning teams. At the end of the tournament, they hand out trophies. What is becoming common practice is giving trophies to each team, from first to 8th place. soccer moms recommend this to protect the children's fragile psyches. But i think they are damaging them. What is a child's motivation if he could stand on the field doing nothing, and still receive a trophy? How does the winning team feel? Here is my suggestion. Do the trophy thing for the first 4 places; first place through third runner up. Then after that it is the parents and coaches responsibility to give each child recognition for doing their best. Talk to each child and congratulate them on things they did well, and motivate them with winning next time. If that seems out of reach, motivate them with something else.

Back to why failure is important. I like calling it 'unintended success'. Yes i just came up with that. No i don't think I'll ever use it, and probability suggests neither will you. But what it means is that if enough good comes from a failure, you didn't fail, you just succeed in an unexpected way.

The title above is how Ford Prefect tells Arthur Dent how to fly from The Hitchhikers Guide series. Those of you saying, "That movie sucked, why would anyone quote that piece of garbage", i would politely say in a disgruntled tone slowly increasing in volume "Read the books before you pass judgment moron."